bow to your gods and the 5 minute dentist appointment
today me and maty conquered san luis with the intent to get the rabbit fixed. so we drive directly to the german car fixers fixing place and the german guy was sending off funny vibes. it really felt like he hated us. it might have been that we duck taped the gas cap onto the rabbit which is probably some sort of german classic car. honestly 1982 diesel volkswagen rabbit ls. how can you not worship a car like that. but the guy really did hate us and he told us that we had to come back at 2 because then he would have time to fix it. it was like 9 then so we were like fuck we must shop. so off we go shopping which isnt really shopping its just looking around waiting to see when 2 would come and the rabbit could be restored to its natural beauty or just so the guy could put the essential bolts back on the alternator. we cruised to boo boo and bought the new faint cd which is quite good then we walked through numerous other shops and looked at shoes with sequins on them and said if only i was rich these shoes would be mine in all colors. so as we cautiously crossed the crosswalk because our street crossing skills are nonexistant we saw this guy standing on the other side eyeing us. he might have been trying to seduce us but his seductive gaze just wasnt equal to the rabbit parked at a jaunty angle. so then this guy strolls up to us and asks us where the ross was. so we pointed down the street about 50 feet to where there was a big blue ross sign and said i bet its there. he was so thankful for this advice he started educating us on what to wear so we dont looks slutty. his suggestion was to wear a shirt that was cut off the shoulder because it wasnt slutty as a tank top and it showed a bit of "tan shoulder" which he thought was the bees knees. after he gave us a quick run over of his physique mentioning his slim hips, flat stomach, and a little bit of junk in his trunk complete with a slight turn to the side and an ass grab he informed us that he shopped in the junior miss department at ross. he was raving about how last time he shopped there all the "pretty" girls that worked there were helping him try on clothes and taking pictures of him. i have a slight idea of why they were taking pictures of him but i didnt say anything. he completed his amazing praise of ross by telling us it was so great to get "tops" for five dollars that he told his daughter to get her ass to ross to shop and told us that his ex wife was a bitch who only wore designer clothes. when he went over all this i thought okay now this guys going to leave and we can get on our way but he started up again. he then gave us a quick runover of a pair of shiny black pants that he bought that had pink lining and he was going to wear them to the witches party. now when i heard witches party i thought thank god its a halloween party, but my faith was misplaced when he said their real witches and they invited me to their coven. maybe i should have winged out the comment that my sister was a wiccan witch but i was speechless at this point. so he went on his way to ross saying somethign about a hat and me and maty quickly left the area. that guy was amazing though he was sorta short with gray hair and he was wearing prescription sunglasses.
we then decided that it was lunch and dammit we need to eat so we headed to the nearest taco bell and ate chalupas while these weird taco bell workers were staring at us. they made it blantantly obvious that they were staring at us and at every other person in the room taht didnt have a dick. the person calling the order numbers was a mexican with an asian accent. maty pointed this out and i was like wow talk about multicultural. finally at 2 we brought the rabbit back to the german guy to get it fixed and then we left to go to the goodwill we finally found after shady directions that lead us to the other side of the town. at goodwill i found a shirt that PERFECTLY matches the silver metallic scarf thing i bought at the goodwill in atascadero. it was an amazing moment in my life. i mean stuff like this just doesnt happen everyday. so we cruise back stopping at the army surplus story admiring canteens and such. finally we get the rabbit back maty thought it was a bit slower but it didnt rattle as bad so that is kinda a plus. on the way back to my house we were following some guy who was using his hazard lights as blinkers and we just stared. it was obvious that this guy was an advanced human being and his kind is rare. we just drove after him glazed expressions concentrating on this man that was so obviously superior to us. he then used his hazard lights to get off at the exit where we noticed that the break lights only worked on the right side of the car. once again we were informed that this guy was better than us only to see him throw trash out the window and really hammer down the blantant fact that he was better than we would ever be. eh so then we went home and i said that a volvo was goign dead fast and maty pronounced volvo with a deep south white trash accent. that volvo was dead fast though. dead fast.