Damn my awful luck
So, I've decided I'm in love with someone that only thinks of me as a friend, a young friend. He could probably see me as a sister, but lover? What a dream. What a fucking dream. I've never done this to myself before. NEVER. Why? How? HOW could I do this to myself. I knew I'd feel like shit as soon as I finally grasped that he doesn't like me. And since I already told him about his gift, I still have to go and give it to him next week. Or maybe tomorrow, depending on if I get it done, and how soon I wanna see him. I'm gonna cry if I see him. Right after he signed off, I started crying. I told Kerri, and I was just sitting here, BAWLING.
BUT EVERYTHING! I couldn't have WOULDN'T have just let myself think he liked me without some reasoning. Some reasons. There had to be. He had to have liked me atleast a little. And we've gotten to know each other so well recently. Why would I put myself through this game if I knew it would turn out this way, and I did. I DID know. So did everyone else, and they made it QUITE clear by telling me. *pats own back* Bravo Winter, Brav-FUCKING-o. Try and dig your self esteem out of THIS one!
BUT EVERYTHING! I couldn't have WOULDN'T have just let myself think he liked me without some reasoning. Some reasons. There had to be. He had to have liked me atleast a little. And we've gotten to know each other so well recently. Why would I put myself through this game if I knew it would turn out this way, and I did. I DID know. So did everyone else, and they made it QUITE clear by telling me. *pats own back* Bravo Winter, Brav-FUCKING-o. Try and dig your self esteem out of THIS one!