(no subject)
The recent events that have occured in my life would be seen as "normal" or "typical" by a stranger. When I mentally take a step back and analyze everything that has emotionally affected me, all those "typical" events seem like tragedies and turning points in my life. I don't know if I'm overreacting. I don't know if I'm playing the role of a "typical teenage girl". If I am overreacting and playing that role, I don't care.
A particular tragedy that really hurt my heart and spirit, was letting go of something I cared about so deeply. For awhile God was giving me signs that this wasn't the path He wanted me to follow. I felt deep down that He had a different plan for me. At first I ignored it because I chose instant gratification over trust. Finally, the feeling just became so heavy that I simply couldn't ignore it any longer. I let go of something that I didn't want to let go of. It was the biggest and scariest leap of faith that I had ever come to face in my life. The pain brought me and God closer together in a strange way, because I learned to trust Him instead of my heart. Eron and I lasted 7 1/2 months. With the close of a door, came the open of a window. With the end of a relationship, came the beginning of a closer friendship. I don't know why I'm sharing this, or who I'm sharing this with, but it feels better to have it sent out into the void. God doesn't make mistakes. He's all-knowing and perfect. I make mistakes everyday. I am naive and sinful. Trusting my heart and emotions over God would be a foolish crime to perpetrate.
On a lighter note, I've been spending a lot of time with Mike lately. His care and concern for me inspires me to become more loving, kind and less critical of others. I want to change my heart. I'd like to strengthen my relationship with God. Even though I am in a new, exciting relationship, I must not forget my God and His indefinite and unconditional love. I do a lot of talking and thinking about God, but I think it's time I step up to the plate and put my faith into action. I like Mike. He's my boyfriend. We've already made tons of memories together, and hopefully it will continue to carry on as a caring, hilarious, adventurous and healthy relationship.
I'm being called out. If my friends would, please keep me in their prayers. It's a new beginning. I know I've said this many times, but it's always worth a shot.