DON'T MIND ME

[sohardxcoredawl]

I feel so ashamed of myself come to think of it right now, i just got kicked out of school. The one school that promesed me a bright amazing future but I just sort of through it away I have no idea what my problem is. i'm sick and tierd of fucking up inlife , i'm sick and tierd of woundering how I can possibly do things right and end up fucking them up so much. My life seems to go from shity thing to another and it tears me apart. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I come home which I guess is probley fuck up more. I'm tierd of relying on love and hoping that if I'm inlove that everything will just be alright ..yea right fuck hollywood cheezy love movies. I'm sick and tierd of myself , i feel like i have gotten anything acomplished WHAT HAVE I DONE, i have travled , I have learned amazing things but those things won't get me far, I want to do something. I have been writing allot lately and I have writers block right now god dammit. I want to be home and begin to straighten things out but i have another 2 weeks to go, I'm driving myself crazy with myspace and aol ..I don't know what to do anymore . I feel stupied for expecting to get back together with justin. I feel more stupied in beliving in dreams that I have no idea if they will ever happen i just feel....I don't know sick,alone,frustrated. I'm coming home with an ilusion of how I want things but reality is that things are quit diffrenet now. I don't know..I just don't want to be lost i'm tierd of the whole " you're just going through a phase" well I want it to be over with.AH, I want my shit to be together I want my family to have a clue with what they want. I have to move out of my house and who knows were my mom want's to go (so0me were in lando i guess) hopefully closer to my friends i don't know.I'm sick and tierd of what if's and what not's.I want someone to hold me in there arms and tell me i'm beautiful for who I am. I just want to have some one there by my side. Then again I have no idea were i'm going to find this person.I'm tierd of beliving in "not looking it will come to you" or in " luck" I don't think i belive in any of that. FUCK GOD and all of his shit..i'm just tierd ..Life is so amazing to be feeling so god damn shity.

..shit..

genia bad ass tattoo ;)