Hey kids! Feeling sick? Scared of the doctor? Well, here are some beads you can't have! Ha-ha!
Hmm... I haven't written in a long time (obviously). I guess now is the time, huh?
I meant to write for the past few days, to talk about how great life was... how wonderful everything seemed... how nice it was to be happy for once. But I didn't (again, obviously)... probably because I was afraid that if I wrote it down, it would vanish... just... poof! Like so much smoke in the air, rather than progressively get MORE happy. And now that I finally am sitting down to write about it? It's... gone. I just can't seem to stay in that place no matter how hard I try. And I'm sorry if I sound stupid or whiny or whatever... I'm really sorry... whatever the hell you want me to say. but the truth is, ever since I got home yesterday I've been trying to keep that happy there, trying to get it to stick in place like it had been doing so well on it's own... but it wouldn't. Like a cheap sticker, it just kept falling off. Now I don't even know where it went to, so I can't even try to stick it back on.
But don't pay attention to that. Whatever. I'm still going to try to sound happy, for you guy's sake, okay? Let's try this.
I am in love with books. If everything else in this world is stupid and useless (Ha, as if there needs to be an if there) then at least there are books. See my title? It's from this really awesome book called Side Effects. The story is about a girl who gets lymphoma. And I know that you're thinking (Oh, God, she dies, doesn't she? Because they always die. Those books are always terribly sad...) but that's the POINT. She doesn't die. She lives. And that's not even why it's a good book. It's the writing that's amazing. Amy Koss... she makes the characters people in a way that I never seem to get. When I write, I can get these descriptions of things, and I can get in these neat plot twists and things... I mean, I know what I want to happen and how... but I can never get my characters to fit in there. In any case, it's hilarious writing. The passage in my title is where she's at the hospital (before she finds out she has cancer)... I'll write it down.
"I'd left my notebook and everything in the car, or I might have done a drawing of that weird wire thing with the colored beads, which exists only in doctors' waiting rooms. I wondered what was supposed to be fun about it. All I'd ever wanted to do was get the beads off the damn thing so I could play with them. Maybe that toy - if you can even call it a toy - was meant to teach frustration and hopelessness. Hey, kids! Feeling sick? Scared of the doctor? Well, here are some beads you can't have! Ha-ha!"
Which pretty much sums everything up, doesn't it? The other book I just finished reading is Boy Proof which is also amazing, but in different ways. It's a romance for sci-fi geeks. XP Don't give me that look. It's a fun book. I also suggest you read The Secret which I am ALMOST finished with, I promise. And if I decide that I'm still talking to humanity (which mostly seems like a waste of time when you have good books and music and the rest of the world is pretty much crap) then I'll tell you how good Peeps and A Crack In the Line are.
Okay, strike that... I have nothing against the internet. I'm not going to give it up under any circumstances. So forget the whole "If I'm still talking to humanity" thing, because whether or not I'm talking to humanity, I'll probably still post it here anyway. LJ officially doesn't count as humanity (mostly because people have a really nice habit of not reading it). No promises on anything else, though.
And now I'm going to take some ibuprofen, because life hurts, and then I'm going to play some piano, because music doesn't. Hmm-mmm.
*sticks her tounge out at humanity, then turns around and runs towards fiction's open arms*
I meant to write for the past few days, to talk about how great life was... how wonderful everything seemed... how nice it was to be happy for once. But I didn't (again, obviously)... probably because I was afraid that if I wrote it down, it would vanish... just... poof! Like so much smoke in the air, rather than progressively get MORE happy. And now that I finally am sitting down to write about it? It's... gone. I just can't seem to stay in that place no matter how hard I try. And I'm sorry if I sound stupid or whiny or whatever... I'm really sorry... whatever the hell you want me to say. but the truth is, ever since I got home yesterday I've been trying to keep that happy there, trying to get it to stick in place like it had been doing so well on it's own... but it wouldn't. Like a cheap sticker, it just kept falling off. Now I don't even know where it went to, so I can't even try to stick it back on.
But don't pay attention to that. Whatever. I'm still going to try to sound happy, for you guy's sake, okay? Let's try this.
I am in love with books. If everything else in this world is stupid and useless (Ha, as if there needs to be an if there) then at least there are books. See my title? It's from this really awesome book called Side Effects. The story is about a girl who gets lymphoma. And I know that you're thinking (Oh, God, she dies, doesn't she? Because they always die. Those books are always terribly sad...) but that's the POINT. She doesn't die. She lives. And that's not even why it's a good book. It's the writing that's amazing. Amy Koss... she makes the characters people in a way that I never seem to get. When I write, I can get these descriptions of things, and I can get in these neat plot twists and things... I mean, I know what I want to happen and how... but I can never get my characters to fit in there. In any case, it's hilarious writing. The passage in my title is where she's at the hospital (before she finds out she has cancer)... I'll write it down.
"I'd left my notebook and everything in the car, or I might have done a drawing of that weird wire thing with the colored beads, which exists only in doctors' waiting rooms. I wondered what was supposed to be fun about it. All I'd ever wanted to do was get the beads off the damn thing so I could play with them. Maybe that toy - if you can even call it a toy - was meant to teach frustration and hopelessness. Hey, kids! Feeling sick? Scared of the doctor? Well, here are some beads you can't have! Ha-ha!"
Which pretty much sums everything up, doesn't it? The other book I just finished reading is Boy Proof which is also amazing, but in different ways. It's a romance for sci-fi geeks. XP Don't give me that look. It's a fun book. I also suggest you read The Secret which I am ALMOST finished with, I promise. And if I decide that I'm still talking to humanity (which mostly seems like a waste of time when you have good books and music and the rest of the world is pretty much crap) then I'll tell you how good Peeps and A Crack In the Line are.
Okay, strike that... I have nothing against the internet. I'm not going to give it up under any circumstances. So forget the whole "If I'm still talking to humanity" thing, because whether or not I'm talking to humanity, I'll probably still post it here anyway. LJ officially doesn't count as humanity (mostly because people have a really nice habit of not reading it). No promises on anything else, though.
And now I'm going to take some ibuprofen, because life hurts, and then I'm going to play some piano, because music doesn't. Hmm-mmm.
*sticks her tounge out at humanity, then turns around and runs towards fiction's open arms*