irrationality

[sognatore]

i am so not ok. i've been catching up on grey's anatomy and there is always a baby/multiple babies/talk of wanting babies. and i have cried through every episode. then i get in the shower tonight and think about a baby and sob through my shower. all i can think about is having a baby. and yes, i have my period right now, and yes i always want a baby, but this is irrationally not normal. i don't usually sob over babies and wanting babies. and then i wonder if somehow i am pregnant, which is not possible. and then i think about how i'd finish school with a baby, and if that's possible and what would have to change. i know this is ridiculously irrational. 2 years, then i can think about it realistically. not before i'm done school. and actually, not until i have a husband and father for my baby.
i'm hoping i'm unusually hormonal right now. i should not be crying several days in a row over wanting a baby.