Take it or leave it, Promises are only good for the first five minutes
Ok so very random things that are going on right about now.
1. My sister is really confusing me. I know her and this boy are "just friends." but idk how much of that i believe. I know hes out of work and is short on cash, but why did she go to his house for 2 hours and then bring back his dirty laundry? i have some thoughts that i kind of dont want to admit might be true. And that may be because i wont ever really know, because i know she wont ever really tell me the truth about it. And lately her and i have been getting along really well that i dont really want to mess that up.
2. Here is a little back story so you get the full effect: Last year, second semester, this girl and i became inseparable. we were really close and rarely werent in constant contact throughout the day. (This isnt to say that Erica and i were any less of friends, it was our schedules clashed and didnt really have much time to hang out.) So the day that my parents came to pick me up to go home for the summer she cried, i did too but that isnt really significant. Now come the beginning of this year neither of us returned, i am going back in January, but she said that she "didnt have a good time, and she never really liked York." Which to any of her friends that she was remotely close with knew that this was grade A bullshit. But we all know the kind of problems that she deals with at home and tried to just let it go. I did everything in my power to be a good friend. I even told her that i would drive to MD if she wanted to spend a couple weeks in new york. The further into the summer the less calls she would return until she just stopped picking up, calling back, or returning texts. So i stopped pushing, you cant help someone who doesnt want it. But I was really hurt. We were really close and i guess i had never realized that she never really told me too much, she never fully opened up to me, and that by doing this i only had a glimpse of what she was going through. But that doesnt explain the lack of caring. All of a sudden it was like anything that was formed between the two of us was just a part time thing till she got home to her real friends. Then i went to visit ycp and i found out that she cut herself off from all of us. a month went by and i decided to call her, left her an angry voice mail. she returned with a text the next day saying that things have been busy and shed call me soon. She never did. Her birthday was just the other day, so i left her a message. and she commented me back saying how lifes been realllly crazy for the last few months and that she was sorry for not keeping in touch.. but alot of shit went down and she kinda disappeared for a while but things are getting better finally.. and how was life for me!? It really made me mad. Like extremely angry. It should have affected me like that, but it did. I had felt abandoned by, who i considered, one of my closest and truest friends. And she wanted to know how life was for me? shes sorry she dropped off the face of the earth? that is all she has to say, really? i guess i wanted more. I wanted an excuse or a formal apology something that would make more sense. i still havent answered her back. i really dont have anything to say. i dont really want to have something to say. I tried and she did nothing, why should i start caring now? (there is alot more to this which would justify the anger, but i dont fell like going into. Im over it now)
3. And last but not least i have a new music obsession. Backseat Goodbye. you should check it out.
1. My sister is really confusing me. I know her and this boy are "just friends." but idk how much of that i believe. I know hes out of work and is short on cash, but why did she go to his house for 2 hours and then bring back his dirty laundry? i have some thoughts that i kind of dont want to admit might be true. And that may be because i wont ever really know, because i know she wont ever really tell me the truth about it. And lately her and i have been getting along really well that i dont really want to mess that up.
2. Here is a little back story so you get the full effect: Last year, second semester, this girl and i became inseparable. we were really close and rarely werent in constant contact throughout the day. (This isnt to say that Erica and i were any less of friends, it was our schedules clashed and didnt really have much time to hang out.) So the day that my parents came to pick me up to go home for the summer she cried, i did too but that isnt really significant. Now come the beginning of this year neither of us returned, i am going back in January, but she said that she "didnt have a good time, and she never really liked York." Which to any of her friends that she was remotely close with knew that this was grade A bullshit. But we all know the kind of problems that she deals with at home and tried to just let it go. I did everything in my power to be a good friend. I even told her that i would drive to MD if she wanted to spend a couple weeks in new york. The further into the summer the less calls she would return until she just stopped picking up, calling back, or returning texts. So i stopped pushing, you cant help someone who doesnt want it. But I was really hurt. We were really close and i guess i had never realized that she never really told me too much, she never fully opened up to me, and that by doing this i only had a glimpse of what she was going through. But that doesnt explain the lack of caring. All of a sudden it was like anything that was formed between the two of us was just a part time thing till she got home to her real friends. Then i went to visit ycp and i found out that she cut herself off from all of us. a month went by and i decided to call her, left her an angry voice mail. she returned with a text the next day saying that things have been busy and shed call me soon. She never did. Her birthday was just the other day, so i left her a message. and she commented me back saying how lifes been realllly crazy for the last few months and that she was sorry for not keeping in touch.. but alot of shit went down and she kinda disappeared for a while but things are getting better finally.. and how was life for me!? It really made me mad. Like extremely angry. It should have affected me like that, but it did. I had felt abandoned by, who i considered, one of my closest and truest friends. And she wanted to know how life was for me? shes sorry she dropped off the face of the earth? that is all she has to say, really? i guess i wanted more. I wanted an excuse or a formal apology something that would make more sense. i still havent answered her back. i really dont have anything to say. i dont really want to have something to say. I tried and she did nothing, why should i start caring now? (there is alot more to this which would justify the anger, but i dont fell like going into. Im over it now)
3. And last but not least i have a new music obsession. Backseat Goodbye. you should check it out.