and this is my rant:
i am fed up with jordan. he is ignorant and obnoxious, and he's always around. i dream about him doing terrible things.
in one, we're standing in the kitchen and he is drunk and punches me in the face until my blood is in his hands while alison greg and chris are standing side by side in the living room, just watching.
in another one jordan comes to my attic room while im sleeping. he tries to kill me in various ways;suffocate me with a pillow, strangle me, stab me, etc. i find a way to escape downstairs. sometimes i run outside and get into my car and somehow drive to israel so katie can save me, but she is always out of reach while jordan is always right behind me, no matter how fast i drive. in other dreams i run into alison and chris' room so they'll protect me, but they just laugh and don't believe me. then in the morning i wake up flustered and afraid, and he is always here.
i need to start taking care of myself. i need to do things that will make me feel proud, and accomplished instead of things i will inevitably regret. i never used to have regrets. now i find myself full of them. when did that happen? i think i know when it happened.
i am all waste and self destruction.
in one, we're standing in the kitchen and he is drunk and punches me in the face until my blood is in his hands while alison greg and chris are standing side by side in the living room, just watching.
in another one jordan comes to my attic room while im sleeping. he tries to kill me in various ways;suffocate me with a pillow, strangle me, stab me, etc. i find a way to escape downstairs. sometimes i run outside and get into my car and somehow drive to israel so katie can save me, but she is always out of reach while jordan is always right behind me, no matter how fast i drive. in other dreams i run into alison and chris' room so they'll protect me, but they just laugh and don't believe me. then in the morning i wake up flustered and afraid, and he is always here.
i need to start taking care of myself. i need to do things that will make me feel proud, and accomplished instead of things i will inevitably regret. i never used to have regrets. now i find myself full of them. when did that happen? i think i know when it happened.
i am all waste and self destruction.