Sad but true
I am not yet over him. I realized this last week in several different ways. I'm disappointed in myself, but I know my interest is fading. My only solace is that he all the way thinks I am over him. It's easier for him to believe that because he never really believed I liked him as much as I did in the first place. And that was half the problem.
The more I get to know him, the more I can see how we probably wouldn't have worked out without a lot of me folding to him. We have misunderstandings literally every time we talk. He is combative every time we talk, and I think he thinks he's just joking around; but I find it highly annoying. For instance, I said I had a headache and I needed some Excedrin. He gave me a whole diatribe about how medicine is bad for you. I said my phone was on DND. He said I blocked him. It's just stupid....
He's doing that thing BOYS do in grade school...when they like you, they're mean to you. This relationship has evolved into something comical. Comically frustrating. I had an impromptu going-away gathering. Everyone went around the room and said nice things about me. When it was his turn, he froze and started talking about our business venture - nothing about me. It was awkward. Afterwards, apparently he told everyone (but me), that he felt caught off guard and he felt really bad he knew he didn't say the right things. So later that night, I asked him what he really thought of me...sure, I shouldn't have cared but I'd been drinking. Anyway, he told me I'm kind, charismatic, thoughtful, charming, outgoing... I was stunned. It was a whole list, and I can't remember half of it, but I felt seen in a good way. And I recognized my growth, because old me would've been like, "then why don't you want to date me?" Whereas new me just thanked him.
It wasn't the compliments that made me realize I'm not over him. It's a cumulation of events from last week, ending with the compliments. But thank goodness, I no longer have to see him every day anymore. That's the first step in recovery.