Too much thinking, really.
I have been thinking a great deal lately. I've come to the conclusion that I've lost myself utterly. I feel as though I am merely existing, simply surviving... not living so much anymore.
I got to work every day and then come home. I don't think that I can say what I do then. When I was seeing Lou, I spent time with him... but still... there was nothing spectacular, nothing memorable, nothing worth writing about. Nothing worth remembering outside of being with him.
I remember when I used to DO things... and BE someone interesting to talk to. I feel as though I have lost that person... not changed... just been lost. I have spent so much time concerned with other people that I have misplaced myself. Ever since Josh, I have looked at myself in relation to other people but I haven't really concentrated on who I am. I was happy, sure. I can entertain myself. But there is something missing now.
I miss photography. I miss writing. I don't do those things now. I don't travel anymore. That was once a big part of who I was. Who am I know and what am I doing? I think it's time to remember that I can get out there... I can do something... I have the ability and the drive.
I don't know what I'm saying, really. I"m at work and there are many things I should be doing. :)
I got to work every day and then come home. I don't think that I can say what I do then. When I was seeing Lou, I spent time with him... but still... there was nothing spectacular, nothing memorable, nothing worth writing about. Nothing worth remembering outside of being with him.
I remember when I used to DO things... and BE someone interesting to talk to. I feel as though I have lost that person... not changed... just been lost. I have spent so much time concerned with other people that I have misplaced myself. Ever since Josh, I have looked at myself in relation to other people but I haven't really concentrated on who I am. I was happy, sure. I can entertain myself. But there is something missing now.
I miss photography. I miss writing. I don't do those things now. I don't travel anymore. That was once a big part of who I was. Who am I know and what am I doing? I think it's time to remember that I can get out there... I can do something... I have the ability and the drive.
I don't know what I'm saying, really. I"m at work and there are many things I should be doing. :)