i'll take one of those life-lines

[softsaddelicate]

everyones changed so much. when i was in high school, i was in the youth group at my church. my cousin andrew always told me about it before i was old enough to join and how great it was. so i joined, and it was quite possibly the best thing that could've ever happened to me. i miss it so much. soooo sooo much. we used to go on these retreats that were so amazing and there was one part of the spring retreat where you would get these letters from family and family friends about what they thought of you, your personality traits, how important you are to them and so on. and the first time you go, its such an amazing experience, cause this comes to a surprise to you, you have no idea that you get these letters. and i sat up reading them the other night till like 6 in the morning (i started at like 4:30, i didn't read them alllll night long...) and it brought tears to my eyes. i got letters from friends of mine, and even from parents of friends of mine (including my entire family) and just to look back at all the relationships ive had with old friends, old girlfriends and so on. its such a shame. an old old friend of mine, i knew since i was litteraly born (our parents grew up together), we were sooo soo close and i can't even remember the last time i talked to him. and even when i do talk to him, hes changed. its so sad, i miss them all so much. and its not like i can just call any of them and be like, HEY lets hang out! i haven't seem you in so long! everyone so busy with their own lives now, we've all grown up, we all have jobs (except me, cause i'm a damn loser...haha), some have significant others and some even have other endevears that make it extremely hard to make plans for anything that would break the cycle of the monotonous, monotoned circle that now has become life. who would have thought. i was warned, many times, to try and prevent this from happening, but i never could deem it possible. i could never have imagined my life would have turned out the way it has, met the people i've met and lost touch with the people i loved. life was so much easier then, so much less bullshit, less drama, less stress. what a drastic change.

porn is amazing...HA!