Ficlet: 'Pinch, Punch, First of the Month' TL/SM PG13
Title: Pinch, Punch, First of the Month
Author: softly_sweetly
Beta: luvscharlie and sesheta_66 - Thanks, ladies!
Pairing: Teddy/Scorpius
Length: ~700
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are the property of J.K. Rowling. I make no money from this piece of fanfiction.
Warnings: Slash, April-Fools-Japery, Fluff
Summary: Teddy mis-judges an April Fools Day prank, and pays
Author Notes: Counts to prompt #2 Joke from my 100quills Next Generation Table
"Scorpius, we need to talk." Teddy made his voice as solemn as possible, and consciously clenched his sleeves into his hands, something he knew he did when he was genuinely worried. His boyfriend looked up from the morning Prophet, and Teddy saw genuine concern flash in grey eyes. "You know… you know I had that check-up, last week?"
"To manage your Lycanthropy, yes. Are you all right?"
Scorpius sounded concerned, which was even better. Teddy had been planning this joke for months. His Healer check-ups were no great shakes, just a formality he had to go through to continue training as an Auror, regular checks that his lycanthropic genes were still dormant. If they ever became less than dormant, the Department would allow him time off around the full moon, and provide subsidies to the cost of prescription potions.
Sitting down, Teddy bit the inside of his cheek, and steeled his voice to sound low and mournful. Scorpius was going to scream, and Teddy would be able to retell this at dinner parties until he was old and grey: the time when he out-pranked his Uncle. "It's no longer dormant. And Scorp… Scorpius, it's passed on through semen."
There was complete silence, and Teddy waited for his April Fools joke to take full effect.
"That's fine. I love you. I'll take any potion I have to, to be with you."
Teddy's mouth dropped open, and he stared at Scorpius. There was no screaming. There was no shrieking, or yelling, or throwing of such epic hissy-fits that Teddy would break a rib laughing every time he teased Scorpius about it. "I… you… what?"
"I love you, and I'll take any potion I have to if it means staying with you," Scorpius repeated, a vision of calm and composure.
Making an effort to close his mouth, Teddy spotted the corner of Scorpius' lip tipping upwards, and slammed back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. He didn't care that he was the elder of them; he pouted. "Goddamn it, Malfoy, you couldn't let me have one little April Fools joke after three years of being the butt of yours."
"Consider this," Scorpius began, every word slow and perfectly formed, as though he were speaking to a resident of St. Mungo's Permanent Spell Damage ward. "If I had fallen for your little joke, and screamed and pouted as you were no doubt hoping I would, how would that have made you feel about the solidity of our relationship, and the truth behind the eight months it took me to convince you I don't give a damn who your father was, as long as you don't give a damn about mine."
Taking a moment to unravel the - unnecessarily - complicated sentences, Teddy's face dropped. After the laughter at Scorpius' reaction had worn off, he wondered how he would have felt that Scorpius reacted so badly to the thought of being infected. Looking up through his fringe, formerly blue but rapidly changing to muddy brown as realisation hit him, Teddy didn't need to fake upset in his voice. "Shit, I didn't… I never thought…"
"You rarely do, but this was a spectacular cock-up, even for you."
"Sorry," Teddy ventured, feeling much less cheerful than he had when he woke up.
"Yes, well, just think these things through a little further. And if you're really sorry, you could fetch me some juice."
Standing up, Teddy pulled open the cold-cupboard door and barely had time to register the trip-jinx that sent the jug flying forwards, and landed the sweet, sticky orange juice all over him. As the jug bounced back into place, Teddy turned to face Scorpius, dripping orange all over the floor.
Scorpius smirked. "I hope you've learnt a lesson this morning, Teddy."
Sighing, Teddy pulled out his wand and began siphoning the juice off his clothes and down the sink. "Yeah; don't try to out-prank a Malfoy." Under his breath, Teddy added, "Even when they're being smarmy gits."
The evil tone in Scorpius' voice proved that he'd heard every whispered word, as he smirked into his cornflakes. "And to think I was just, out of the goodness of my heart, about to warn you of the second prank I set. Enjoy your morning, Teddy."
Author: softly_sweetly
Beta: luvscharlie and sesheta_66 - Thanks, ladies!
Pairing: Teddy/Scorpius
Length: ~700
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are the property of J.K. Rowling. I make no money from this piece of fanfiction.
Warnings: Slash, April-Fools-Japery, Fluff
Summary: Teddy mis-judges an April Fools Day prank, and pays
Author Notes: Counts to prompt #2 Joke from my 100quills Next Generation Table
"Scorpius, we need to talk." Teddy made his voice as solemn as possible, and consciously clenched his sleeves into his hands, something he knew he did when he was genuinely worried. His boyfriend looked up from the morning Prophet, and Teddy saw genuine concern flash in grey eyes. "You know… you know I had that check-up, last week?"
"To manage your Lycanthropy, yes. Are you all right?"
Scorpius sounded concerned, which was even better. Teddy had been planning this joke for months. His Healer check-ups were no great shakes, just a formality he had to go through to continue training as an Auror, regular checks that his lycanthropic genes were still dormant. If they ever became less than dormant, the Department would allow him time off around the full moon, and provide subsidies to the cost of prescription potions.
Sitting down, Teddy bit the inside of his cheek, and steeled his voice to sound low and mournful. Scorpius was going to scream, and Teddy would be able to retell this at dinner parties until he was old and grey: the time when he out-pranked his Uncle. "It's no longer dormant. And Scorp… Scorpius, it's passed on through semen."
There was complete silence, and Teddy waited for his April Fools joke to take full effect.
"That's fine. I love you. I'll take any potion I have to, to be with you."
Teddy's mouth dropped open, and he stared at Scorpius. There was no screaming. There was no shrieking, or yelling, or throwing of such epic hissy-fits that Teddy would break a rib laughing every time he teased Scorpius about it. "I… you… what?"
"I love you, and I'll take any potion I have to if it means staying with you," Scorpius repeated, a vision of calm and composure.
Making an effort to close his mouth, Teddy spotted the corner of Scorpius' lip tipping upwards, and slammed back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. He didn't care that he was the elder of them; he pouted. "Goddamn it, Malfoy, you couldn't let me have one little April Fools joke after three years of being the butt of yours."
"Consider this," Scorpius began, every word slow and perfectly formed, as though he were speaking to a resident of St. Mungo's Permanent Spell Damage ward. "If I had fallen for your little joke, and screamed and pouted as you were no doubt hoping I would, how would that have made you feel about the solidity of our relationship, and the truth behind the eight months it took me to convince you I don't give a damn who your father was, as long as you don't give a damn about mine."
Taking a moment to unravel the - unnecessarily - complicated sentences, Teddy's face dropped. After the laughter at Scorpius' reaction had worn off, he wondered how he would have felt that Scorpius reacted so badly to the thought of being infected. Looking up through his fringe, formerly blue but rapidly changing to muddy brown as realisation hit him, Teddy didn't need to fake upset in his voice. "Shit, I didn't… I never thought…"
"You rarely do, but this was a spectacular cock-up, even for you."
"Sorry," Teddy ventured, feeling much less cheerful than he had when he woke up.
"Yes, well, just think these things through a little further. And if you're really sorry, you could fetch me some juice."
Standing up, Teddy pulled open the cold-cupboard door and barely had time to register the trip-jinx that sent the jug flying forwards, and landed the sweet, sticky orange juice all over him. As the jug bounced back into place, Teddy turned to face Scorpius, dripping orange all over the floor.
Scorpius smirked. "I hope you've learnt a lesson this morning, Teddy."
Sighing, Teddy pulled out his wand and began siphoning the juice off his clothes and down the sink. "Yeah; don't try to out-prank a Malfoy." Under his breath, Teddy added, "Even when they're being smarmy gits."
The evil tone in Scorpius' voice proved that he'd heard every whispered word, as he smirked into his cornflakes. "And to think I was just, out of the goodness of my heart, about to warn you of the second prank I set. Enjoy your morning, Teddy."