(no subject)
this has been a bad week. i dunno why, but these short weeks have killed me this year. i feel like everything is just getting to me, and i just need time away from people, even a couple people i would consider friends. i HATE when people are undependable/ unreliable. i HATE it!! if you say youre gonna do something, do it. like i can understand sometimes, but don't be like that with every single thing you say you're gonna do! and also, i know that it's senior year and alot of people care alot less about school, and thats cool because i know it matters alot less and stuff, but i still really care about school, just as much as the other years. i have this really weird goal to get all a's on my semester report card, cuz i have never in my life done that in highschool for honors classes too, and i know it would jsut make me happy. i dont really like how my caring conflicts with other people's not caring sometimes. and i don't even care THAT much...not any more tahn any other years
i stayed home tonight because im just not in a social mood plus i really need to clean my room, seeing as the last time i cleaned it was like march. however, i was sooo tired, and i have to babysit at 9:30 tomorrow morning, that i came home after school and just slept. and its now 10 and i'm about to start cleaning, woops
i guess wesleyan called while i was taking a nap and my sister told them i was sleeping. grrrr. theyve claled like ten times between today and yesterday, but on the caller ID it shows up as 999-999-9999 so my mom just never picked it up. i'm really curious what they wanted now though.
so far i got accepted to bradley and carthage, with a 34,000 dollar scholarship to bradley (8,500 a year) and a 32,000 dollar scholarship to carthage (8,000 a year). it's sweet i guess but for some reason i'm not too excited about it. i wish i wanted to go to one of those, it would make everything so much easier financially. of course i want to go to the school that will be like 20,000 more per year and put me in debt for the rest of my life. i feel really bad cuz i know my mom is really worried about how we would pay for that. she's like remodeling our whole house to get that money out of our savings account so that we will get more financial aid. i know in ten years ill look back and realize i could have gotten the same end results a lot cheaper, but i just want to go to wesleyan sooooooo badly, and i feel like the experience is just as important as the end result. i hope i don't take that for granted later, wherever i end up going. ay ay ay lol
psych was sweet today, we watched grumpier old men. i know it sounds stupid but it was just such a bad day that it was nice to just be able to watch a cute, funny movie for a period. i kind of want to go rent it, or the other(s?) and watch em. and not clean my room, but just chill and watch a movie. but i know i have to clean my room. unless i did a little illegal dling on my computer in my room....hmm...
ugh. i'm going. i kind of feeling like crying, and i don't know why. actually i do know why. i just hate it. i just want to be like really really happy again. sorry if you read that whole thing, it was probably a waste of two minutes
i stayed home tonight because im just not in a social mood plus i really need to clean my room, seeing as the last time i cleaned it was like march. however, i was sooo tired, and i have to babysit at 9:30 tomorrow morning, that i came home after school and just slept. and its now 10 and i'm about to start cleaning, woops
i guess wesleyan called while i was taking a nap and my sister told them i was sleeping. grrrr. theyve claled like ten times between today and yesterday, but on the caller ID it shows up as 999-999-9999 so my mom just never picked it up. i'm really curious what they wanted now though.
so far i got accepted to bradley and carthage, with a 34,000 dollar scholarship to bradley (8,500 a year) and a 32,000 dollar scholarship to carthage (8,000 a year). it's sweet i guess but for some reason i'm not too excited about it. i wish i wanted to go to one of those, it would make everything so much easier financially. of course i want to go to the school that will be like 20,000 more per year and put me in debt for the rest of my life. i feel really bad cuz i know my mom is really worried about how we would pay for that. she's like remodeling our whole house to get that money out of our savings account so that we will get more financial aid. i know in ten years ill look back and realize i could have gotten the same end results a lot cheaper, but i just want to go to wesleyan sooooooo badly, and i feel like the experience is just as important as the end result. i hope i don't take that for granted later, wherever i end up going. ay ay ay lol
psych was sweet today, we watched grumpier old men. i know it sounds stupid but it was just such a bad day that it was nice to just be able to watch a cute, funny movie for a period. i kind of want to go rent it, or the other(s?) and watch em. and not clean my room, but just chill and watch a movie. but i know i have to clean my room. unless i did a little illegal dling on my computer in my room....hmm...
ugh. i'm going. i kind of feeling like crying, and i don't know why. actually i do know why. i just hate it. i just want to be like really really happy again. sorry if you read that whole thing, it was probably a waste of two minutes