(no subject)
i cried for the first time since ted...thats almost 3 months. since rite before my birthday. my first time crying being 16 years old. wow. thats a long time to hold that all in for.
it only lasted a minute. but i feel like i got everything out: ted, CJ, Aunt Gail, Uncle Charlie, Chrissy, work, stress, softball, anxiety, Dina, company, ACES, and Chris.
then i grabbed my mit, went outside and thru a tennis ball against my garage till it got dark, four hours later. i think i thru my arm out, but it felt so good to just get rid of all my anger and resentment and jealousy.
I've just been feeling so helpless lately. like i have no control over my life what so ever. Like all the decisions that have been made concerning me havent even been passed by me. i feel like im just going along for the ride now and letting someone else steer. usually thats fine by me, but not when the driver takes me down paths i'm not interested in.
"Long ago, a young man sits and plays his waiting game.
But things are not the same it seems as in such tender dreams.
Slowly passing sailing ships and Sunday afternoon.
Like people on the moon I see are things not meant to be.
Where do those golden rainbows end? Why is this song so sad?
Dreaming the dreams I've dreamed my friend, loving the love I love
to love is just a word I've heard when things are being said.
Stories my poor head has told me cannot stand the cold.
And in between what might have been and what has come to pass,
a misbegotten guess alas and bits of broken glass."
Long Ago
-James Taylor
-kristin
my rune stones from today were interesting...
The first rune: your present situation (which is an outgrowth of the past) = Isa represents a halt in activity until a change is made. It is associated with inactivity, blockage, stagnation, potential, patience, reflection, withdrawal, and rest. Inert matter is transformed into the stuff of stars when wedded with energy. It is the immovable form acted upon by the irrestistible force. Magical uses: to stop a process.
The second rune: the attitude that should be taken (in the present) = Eihwaz is associated with magic and death, initiation, transformation and immortality. Confrontation of fear is necessary to emerge with the wisdom that cannot be taught but must be experienced. Eihwaz is the gateway to this wisdom. Magical uses: to bring about profound change, to ease a life transistion, to overcome fear.
The third rune: The direct consequences as a result of your attitude (The Future)= the last rune i drew was the one blank one in the set of 25. It represents the unknown or unknowable.
interesting? i think so. i always find that they're very relivant to my current situation.
it only lasted a minute. but i feel like i got everything out: ted, CJ, Aunt Gail, Uncle Charlie, Chrissy, work, stress, softball, anxiety, Dina, company, ACES, and Chris.
then i grabbed my mit, went outside and thru a tennis ball against my garage till it got dark, four hours later. i think i thru my arm out, but it felt so good to just get rid of all my anger and resentment and jealousy.
I've just been feeling so helpless lately. like i have no control over my life what so ever. Like all the decisions that have been made concerning me havent even been passed by me. i feel like im just going along for the ride now and letting someone else steer. usually thats fine by me, but not when the driver takes me down paths i'm not interested in.
"Long ago, a young man sits and plays his waiting game.
But things are not the same it seems as in such tender dreams.
Slowly passing sailing ships and Sunday afternoon.
Like people on the moon I see are things not meant to be.
Where do those golden rainbows end? Why is this song so sad?
Dreaming the dreams I've dreamed my friend, loving the love I love
to love is just a word I've heard when things are being said.
Stories my poor head has told me cannot stand the cold.
And in between what might have been and what has come to pass,
a misbegotten guess alas and bits of broken glass."
Long Ago
-James Taylor
-kristin
my rune stones from today were interesting...
The first rune: your present situation (which is an outgrowth of the past) = Isa represents a halt in activity until a change is made. It is associated with inactivity, blockage, stagnation, potential, patience, reflection, withdrawal, and rest. Inert matter is transformed into the stuff of stars when wedded with energy. It is the immovable form acted upon by the irrestistible force. Magical uses: to stop a process.
The second rune: the attitude that should be taken (in the present) = Eihwaz is associated with magic and death, initiation, transformation and immortality. Confrontation of fear is necessary to emerge with the wisdom that cannot be taught but must be experienced. Eihwaz is the gateway to this wisdom. Magical uses: to bring about profound change, to ease a life transistion, to overcome fear.
The third rune: The direct consequences as a result of your attitude (The Future)= the last rune i drew was the one blank one in the set of 25. It represents the unknown or unknowable.
interesting? i think so. i always find that they're very relivant to my current situation.