(no subject)
Spent the afternoon crying some more, but its not really surprising and im not. And hopefully no one else is. Not like anyone cares. The only people that care are Jasmine and Kersten and i love them both so much. They always help to explain and make me see some light. I still dont know what im going to do about "the Gared thing" because i may have possibly made it worse. Something i think im getting good at. Which is DEFINETLY not a good thing. He called me when he had a break and was like when i get out do you want to go to the beach? And i was like um i guess so yeah. And he was like you see mad and i was like um i dont know...and then i was like you know what? It would have been cool if you called me this morning and he was like well i didnt have time, you know, i had to bring Jake home and then i had to get there. I messed up, i thought i had today off but it was tomorrow instead. I was like okay. Thinking you know, thats not too bad. And then i was like well dont check your voice mail because i was pretty mad and left a not so nice message. I just want you to ignore it.
So then, since im all excited about going to the beach i get ready and then he calls me back again. And hes like um. I dont think we can go to the beach, i forgot that i made plans with Dave. *ringing silence* fine. Yeah do what you want. Then there was alittle arguing and i was just like Gared i dont want to fight about this, its so dumb. And he was like i know. Then i was just like do what you want. And he said hes gonna call me when him and Dave are done hanging out, but i HIGHLY doubt that. So yeah. I dont know. I think i kinda just hung up on him. Then i cried again. Because honestly. If your going to make plans with someone remember them, dont forget then go make more plans and then tell the other person you just made plans with that you cant do anything because you forgot about the plans you already made. Thats so gay. And he was like well i dont want to blow Dave off. WHAT ABOUT ME? What do you call that? Urgh. I HATE it. I dont get it. Does he think that he can just treat me like some guy friend of his and expect me not to get all mad at him? I mean i dont get it. I wish i did, id probably be rich by explaining this to girls in my situation. Im just so fusterated.
So he has tomorrow off and i dont think im doing anything with him because my dad is taking the day out of work so i dont have to be alone, which when i told Gared he was like its not my problem your alone. I have to work. I was like I KNOW! And im not saying it is, nor will i ever say that. God. I know he has to work. So i dont get it? Like. Does he just want to fight with me? I dont know. I have to talk to him. In person, the phone wont cut it this time. I dont know. I just give up.