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Last night Gared came over for dinner, well actually it was his second dinner, and then we had a fire outside. It was fun, we were wicked big downys so i didnt feel too bad about my abnormally sized cheecks. But yeah, we ended up dropping wood down my stairs and getting yelled at by my dad, but it was so funny. I felt pretty retarded most of the ( Read more... )
I know you said that ive been trying to roll with what happens, but today i didnt. We were supposed to go to the beach and i was relly excited, so i was all ready and he had told me that he would be here at 10. But since hes always late i gave him until 10:15. Since he still wasnt at my house i called his house and Melanie answered and was like yeah, didnt you know, he got called into work at like 8 this morning. I was like are you serious? He never called me.
Jasmine. He never called me. I was so mad. I basically started crying on the phone with Melanie. And then, i got pissed off. Really pissed off. And i called his cell phone and left a message, one in which i said alot of stuff. Probably none of it good. But i didnt call him an asshole like i wanted to at the time. But it was still pretty bad. I dont know why i did it, but i did. And i hope that he doesnt take any of it seriously because when im mad i have a problem controling what i say, and 99% of the things i say dont mean anything and i never mean it. So then i called him back and left ANOTHER message and said sorry but that it was pretty gay of him not to call me.
See thats what makes me mad, he doesnt seem to like, understand that when toy have plans with someone and something comes up, like WORK, you call that person and tell them the plans are off, you just dont blow them off. Thats why i got mad. But i hope hes not mad at me, because if i fucked this up because i cant control myself i dont know what the fuck im gonna do. He is the only person in the world i care about more than myself, i know that sounds bad, but im being honest, im a pretty self-centered person alot of the time, and for me to say that i think is a big thing. I know it just makes me seem like more of a bitch, but i dont know what else to say about it.
I just hope i didnt fuck up. If i did. I will probably commit sucide.
Thanks for the advice and all the stuff on " Understanding Gared Better"
<3
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I'm self-centered too, so I don't think you sound bad at all- as a matter of fact I love that you're so honest about it. You know your freak out? Mack had about 12 of those a day, so he WILL forgive you bc he cares about you and he is Gared and he understands.
You didn't fuck it up, I'm sure of it unless Gared magically turned into the biggest jerk ever, which I'm sure he wouldn't do. You won't commit suicide, bc if you do I will bring you back to life. lol. ^_^ Cheer up, it will all work out and he had no right ti blow you off anyways and he will understand that and he will understand why you were so mad and totally appreciate the apology.
I'm here for advice whenever you need it... heh, five years of being w/ Gared as buddies has indeed taught me a thing or two about him.
Cheer up, it'll all work out. ^_^
<3 ya
Jazzy
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Yeah, hes not the worlds biggest jerk, only a small one but in my eyes its getting progressivly larger. I need to talk to him and tell him how i feel. And well...what happens happens.
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