[fic] Snowy Wishes [1/2]
Title: Snowy Wishes
Pairing: Changmin/Junsu
Genre: Drama, Romance, Fluff, some fail attempt at smut
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: Junsu is still waiting for Changmin to confess.
A/N: Written for brownbox72 as an entry for hug______'s Secret Santa 2012. This is a little messy and all over the place, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! :D Will post up second part tomorrow, sry for the delay. Hopefully I met some of the genres you were looking for, but I tried to play it safe so there will be some cliches >< The Changmin/Junsu pairing is difficult for me to write and I had to rewatch some old videos to rekindle my OTP love for them. Anyways, please stay warm and have a happy christmas!
Changmin always thinks back to his last few years in high school with warm nostalgia, but also tinged with a trace of regret--he had never confessed, and now and then, he looks out through the hotel window at the city lights and night sky and wonders if they would be together now if he had had the confidence and determination to confess. He wonders if the plain, young boy he knew, cursed with a poor fashion sense and hat hair and all, is happily married with kids or if he's still stubbornly independent and single. He likes his life, the excitement, cars, people, fashion, and cameras that follow everywhere. It's glittery and shiny, but also emptily cold and no matter how hard he tries, he can never forget the warm, refreshing simplicity that is his childhood with Junsu. It is his breath of fresh air whenever the distracting cameras, bright blinding lights, and curt words from managers, critics and models become too much.
Kim Junsu. He traces the syllables over on his tongue, a name he has not said in years. Whereas Eunhyuk and Junsu had always jokingly claimed to be master and slave in their relationship as best friends back during their school days, he and Junsu were genuinely all about rivalry and competition. With few words exchanged, they competed at everything from football to grades to even the most trivial things, such as seeing who could charm the lunch lady into giving them a discount. The lunch lady turned out to be middle-aged men, but still, Junsu dominated at football, while Changmin dominated in all academic areas asides from Music Theory and Korean and French Literature ("Humanities," Changmin sneers.
Junsu laughs and waggles his eyebrows annoyingly. "You still lost. Suck it up, big boy." And the air is knocked out of Changmin as a giant, atrocious excuse of a book bag is thrown into his arms.
"Do you carry rocks in here?"
"Ssshhh, what is that annoying buzz I keep hearing?" The smug grin gives away the all too well-practiced innocent facade, and Changmin wants to wipe it off of Junsu's face. Instead, he grumbles and carries Junsu's backpack all the way to Junsu's home, resisting the urge to throw the load to the ground and ditch the other. So much for betting that he would beat Junsu in every single subject. At least he finds out that Junsu's parents are filthy rich. He could take advantage of that, Changmin thinks smugly).
*
It happens one time when Changmin was hanging out at the rusty, yellow school gate with a large group of friends including Junsu, most of them from either the dance or music club. It was starting to get cold again, but snow had not come yet, so they still hung out outside. They were discussing their choreography plans for the year-end performances, which recruiters from well-known academies abroad would also be attending.
He fiddled with his newly ironed uniform tie, all too aware of the solid body pressed behind him, Junsu's arms wrapped around him from behind. His breath hitched and he tried not to squirm as Junsu began to softly tap his side to a soft melody he was humming, All I Want for Christmas Is You. The fingers travelled down to his hips and then back up. Slowly, he relaxed into the soft touches and strong grip.
"Changmin?" He shifted uncomfortably as he found everyone's attention focused on him. The conversation had taken a sharp turn. "Changmin-ah, why do you keep refusing lessons from us? We'll teach you some cool moves." "Yeah, you can't be thinking of staying forever with that hand-clapping dance where you just nod to the beat." Yoona and Sooyoung cracked up in the back at this, and Changmin's cheeks slightly heated up.
Suddenly, Junsu spoke up. "Shut up guys, Changmin dances fine and it's not like you guys are that much better than him at dancing." Changmin tensed as everyone gaped over his shoulder at Junsu. His body protested the removal of the warmth behind his back as Junsu released him and stepped up.
After a second of awkward silence, Shiwon grinned handsomely and stepped up, too. "Woah there, Changmin may be fine, but you seem to think you're better than us amateurs."
"Maybe I do," Junsu replied quietly, staring up at Shiwon who was a head taller than him and also bulkier. At that point, Changmin felt like face-palming.
Someone whistled. "Go ahead then. Show us your moves." Junsu hesitated briefly, before starting into a freestyle break dancing routine of what appeared to Changmin as powerful arm waves and accompanying spins and footwork. He ended with a brief freeze, his body supported on one hand and legs hiked up in the air, and it would have been impressive had not Shindong jumped in at that second, partially stealing the spotlight, to do similar arm moves, ending with a one-hand handstand, legs in a perfect L posture. Seeing this, Junsu prepared to go back down for another handstand. The idiot. He would.
Changmin immediately put his hand on Junsu's shoulder and smiled dangerously--one of his I'm-going-to-kill-you-if-you-don't-stop-making-a-fool-of-yourself-right-now smiles. "Junsu's just harmlessly boasting. See you guys tomorrow." He did a casual back wave as he tugged Junsu away from the scene with his other hand, meeting only a bit of resistance from the otherwise subdued Junsu.
They started walking back home silently, footsteps in sync. The reds and yellows of leaves covered the roads, and he unconsciously tugged at his shift collar as a particularly strong gust of chilly wind blew at them. Changmin, lost in his own thoughts, didn't realize that Junsu had misinterpreted the silence as his feeling hurt or upset until he felt a scarf being wrapped around his neck and then an arm wrapped around his back. His heart skipped a beat as Junsu leaned in close and peered up into his face worriedly. They were almost cheek to cheek and he could see Junsu's warm breath in the cold air. Casually and coolly, he leaned his head away from Junsu's. "Hyung. Stop."
Junsu silently regarded him with an unreadable expression before leaning away and smiling. "You know, I always sound like I'm boasting, but I never say things unless I know I can do them." His words accompanied an unspoken, You didn't have to worry back there.
"I know hyung. It's annoying when someone like you with your lack of skills praises yourself, but you're still my religion."
"Junsu-nism?"
Changmin smirked at how Junsu chose to ignore everything but the last comment. He played along and pretended to bow down his hands in reverence, causing laughter to erupt out of the other. Junsu joyfully clapped him on the back, before letting go and running ahead. "Last one to reach three streets down pays for lunch tomorrow!" Whatever, here they go again. He sprinted ahead to catch up, not realizing he was smiling too.
Changmin laughs softly at the memories. He wouldn't have had their rivalry and Junsu's competitive streak any other way, but somewhere along the way, they also became more than just rivals.
*
The Notre-Dame de Paris in France is centuries old and classic and, therefore, Changmin had assumed the atmosphere should be more somber, but when he saw Junsu laughing loudly, arms flinging dangerously, on the viewing platform of the ancient cathedral, the feeling unexpectedly fit. And then Junsu looked up. Their eyes locked and Junsu broke into a slow smile. Changmin stopped breathing and the world seemed to stop for a second, the moment feeling ethereal.
The sight was beautiful and breathtaking, and he was not just talking about the rooftops in Paris. He realized at that moment what he should have noticed a long time ago. Junsu was beautiful.
Bright, brilliant and perfect.
It was raining outside and many of the tourists had returned inside to a drier place a while ago, but Junsu stood there as if it weren't raining and as if he had not a care in the world. He finally forced himself to roll his eyes and pulled Junsu back in by the back of his shirt before he caught a cold. Junsu laughed again and ran quickly down the stairs to join the rest of their graduating class on their Paris field trip. His steps reverberated loudly, just like everything else he did, and Changmin stumbled down the stairs red-faced, wondering whether all the other tourists were annoyed by the ruckus. But when he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw guards and tourists alike smiling, amused, at Junsu, he shook his head, half in mirth and half in disbelief. Kim Junsu got away with everything and he could understand why.
That night, their class stayed at a hostel. As they inspected their small, cozy rooms, Junsu found that the window in his room couldn't close. Junsu tried again to force the window down, but it didn't budge and he inwardly cursed. "It's stuck."
Changmin made a choice and tugged on Junsu's arm. "Sleep in my room. It's going to be cold with the window open." It was an offer Junsu couldn't refuse. They awkwardly unpacked their luggage in Changmin's room and cautiously side-stepped each other within the small space. Changmin, nervous, flinched every time Junsu accidentally touched him.
"Should I take off my pants?" Junsu joked, trying to break the tension.
Changmin chokes on his spit, coughing. "No." He adds childishly, "Please refrain from removing any article of clothing during our stay together." He ignored Junsu who he felt staring at him and turned off the lights, quickly tumbling under the bedsheets from exhaustion. The day had been more tiring than their physical education class. Vaguely, he heard Junsu pulling back the covers and sinking into his side of the bed. He stayed rigidly still, conscious of every brush of Junsu's leg against his despite the layers of their sweatpants, as they settled into more comfortable positions. The room was silent, but based on Junsu's breathing, he had not fallen asleep yet.
"First time sleeping with another person?" Junsu suddenly teased, his voice soft.
His eyes shot open and he glared into the darkness. "Shut up, I'm trying to sleep." He made out Junsu grinning from the moonlight, and playfully elbowed him as revenge. After some turning, they shifted back into comfortable positions again, and this time, Changmin easily fell sleep with Junsu's arm around his waist.
The next day, as he languidly walked along a park in Paris, a strange man with blond slightly gelled hair in an expensive suit approached him. The man handed him a business card and spoke to him in accented English that Changmin could only catch half of. Right fit, style. Model. Offer next month? He would find out later that the man is from a famous modeling agency based in France that works internationally across Europe.
*
"...that way, we can both go to Seoul National University. Do you want to apply for the same dorm room together?" Junsu shielded his eyes from the sun and looked over at Changmin from his position on the football field grass.
"Seoul National University...? Didn't you get accepted to Stanford's business school in the US?"
"Yeah I did but...that is. Changmin-ah, I-- I like you," Junsu blurted. Smooth confession, Kim Junsu. He flushed, and the sun shining down on their faces suddenly felt very hot. Too hot. He stole a peek at Changmin, who was still silent, face stiff. "Changmin-ah, what I mean is, I don't mind staying to study in Korea if it means I'll get to see you more often. Our friendship doesn't have to chan--"
"Oppa! There you are! You're going to miss our rehearsal performance. You're our vocals and visual tonight."
Later, Junsu cringes at these foolish, naive words he once made. Forget the fact that Junsu stayed in Korea and studied at SNU (despite the full tuition scholarship waiting for him at Stanford and) even when Changmin never responded to his confession--they were interrupted by Yoona, Sulli, and Victoria who had dragged Changmin away with them to their end-of-the-year performance rehearsal, and Changmin and Junsu never brought up the topic again. Looking back, he reckons Changmin may have been relieved that the girls had cut their conversation short.
It's also not just the fact that Changmin left for France after graduation to launch his international modeling career. Meanwhile, Junsu, who had always thought Changmin had wanted to become a news broadcaster, only found out later from mutual friends that Changmin moved to France 2 weeks ago. Didn't he tell you? It was the fact that he had so openly shared his heart and made himself vulnerable only to be completely unacknowledged and not even spared a bit of compassion or a polite rejection in words to his face. So much for friendship. So much for first loves. He, Kim Junsu, heir to a large Japanese/South Korean conglomerate, could do without.
Pairing: Changmin/Junsu
Genre: Drama, Romance, Fluff, some fail attempt at smut
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: Junsu is still waiting for Changmin to confess.
A/N: Written for brownbox72 as an entry for hug______'s Secret Santa 2012. This is a little messy and all over the place, but I hope you enjoy it regardless! :D Will post up second part tomorrow, sry for the delay. Hopefully I met some of the genres you were looking for, but I tried to play it safe so there will be some cliches >< The Changmin/Junsu pairing is difficult for me to write and I had to rewatch some old videos to rekindle my OTP love for them. Anyways, please stay warm and have a happy christmas!
Changmin always thinks back to his last few years in high school with warm nostalgia, but also tinged with a trace of regret--he had never confessed, and now and then, he looks out through the hotel window at the city lights and night sky and wonders if they would be together now if he had had the confidence and determination to confess. He wonders if the plain, young boy he knew, cursed with a poor fashion sense and hat hair and all, is happily married with kids or if he's still stubbornly independent and single. He likes his life, the excitement, cars, people, fashion, and cameras that follow everywhere. It's glittery and shiny, but also emptily cold and no matter how hard he tries, he can never forget the warm, refreshing simplicity that is his childhood with Junsu. It is his breath of fresh air whenever the distracting cameras, bright blinding lights, and curt words from managers, critics and models become too much.
Kim Junsu. He traces the syllables over on his tongue, a name he has not said in years. Whereas Eunhyuk and Junsu had always jokingly claimed to be master and slave in their relationship as best friends back during their school days, he and Junsu were genuinely all about rivalry and competition. With few words exchanged, they competed at everything from football to grades to even the most trivial things, such as seeing who could charm the lunch lady into giving them a discount. The lunch lady turned out to be middle-aged men, but still, Junsu dominated at football, while Changmin dominated in all academic areas asides from Music Theory and Korean and French Literature ("Humanities," Changmin sneers.
Junsu laughs and waggles his eyebrows annoyingly. "You still lost. Suck it up, big boy." And the air is knocked out of Changmin as a giant, atrocious excuse of a book bag is thrown into his arms.
"Do you carry rocks in here?"
"Ssshhh, what is that annoying buzz I keep hearing?" The smug grin gives away the all too well-practiced innocent facade, and Changmin wants to wipe it off of Junsu's face. Instead, he grumbles and carries Junsu's backpack all the way to Junsu's home, resisting the urge to throw the load to the ground and ditch the other. So much for betting that he would beat Junsu in every single subject. At least he finds out that Junsu's parents are filthy rich. He could take advantage of that, Changmin thinks smugly).
*
It happens one time when Changmin was hanging out at the rusty, yellow school gate with a large group of friends including Junsu, most of them from either the dance or music club. It was starting to get cold again, but snow had not come yet, so they still hung out outside. They were discussing their choreography plans for the year-end performances, which recruiters from well-known academies abroad would also be attending.
He fiddled with his newly ironed uniform tie, all too aware of the solid body pressed behind him, Junsu's arms wrapped around him from behind. His breath hitched and he tried not to squirm as Junsu began to softly tap his side to a soft melody he was humming, All I Want for Christmas Is You. The fingers travelled down to his hips and then back up. Slowly, he relaxed into the soft touches and strong grip.
"Changmin?" He shifted uncomfortably as he found everyone's attention focused on him. The conversation had taken a sharp turn. "Changmin-ah, why do you keep refusing lessons from us? We'll teach you some cool moves." "Yeah, you can't be thinking of staying forever with that hand-clapping dance where you just nod to the beat." Yoona and Sooyoung cracked up in the back at this, and Changmin's cheeks slightly heated up.
Suddenly, Junsu spoke up. "Shut up guys, Changmin dances fine and it's not like you guys are that much better than him at dancing." Changmin tensed as everyone gaped over his shoulder at Junsu. His body protested the removal of the warmth behind his back as Junsu released him and stepped up.
After a second of awkward silence, Shiwon grinned handsomely and stepped up, too. "Woah there, Changmin may be fine, but you seem to think you're better than us amateurs."
"Maybe I do," Junsu replied quietly, staring up at Shiwon who was a head taller than him and also bulkier. At that point, Changmin felt like face-palming.
Someone whistled. "Go ahead then. Show us your moves." Junsu hesitated briefly, before starting into a freestyle break dancing routine of what appeared to Changmin as powerful arm waves and accompanying spins and footwork. He ended with a brief freeze, his body supported on one hand and legs hiked up in the air, and it would have been impressive had not Shindong jumped in at that second, partially stealing the spotlight, to do similar arm moves, ending with a one-hand handstand, legs in a perfect L posture. Seeing this, Junsu prepared to go back down for another handstand. The idiot. He would.
Changmin immediately put his hand on Junsu's shoulder and smiled dangerously--one of his I'm-going-to-kill-you-if-you-don't-stop-making-a-fool-of-yourself-right-now smiles. "Junsu's just harmlessly boasting. See you guys tomorrow." He did a casual back wave as he tugged Junsu away from the scene with his other hand, meeting only a bit of resistance from the otherwise subdued Junsu.
They started walking back home silently, footsteps in sync. The reds and yellows of leaves covered the roads, and he unconsciously tugged at his shift collar as a particularly strong gust of chilly wind blew at them. Changmin, lost in his own thoughts, didn't realize that Junsu had misinterpreted the silence as his feeling hurt or upset until he felt a scarf being wrapped around his neck and then an arm wrapped around his back. His heart skipped a beat as Junsu leaned in close and peered up into his face worriedly. They were almost cheek to cheek and he could see Junsu's warm breath in the cold air. Casually and coolly, he leaned his head away from Junsu's. "Hyung. Stop."
Junsu silently regarded him with an unreadable expression before leaning away and smiling. "You know, I always sound like I'm boasting, but I never say things unless I know I can do them." His words accompanied an unspoken, You didn't have to worry back there.
"I know hyung. It's annoying when someone like you with your lack of skills praises yourself, but you're still my religion."
"Junsu-nism?"
Changmin smirked at how Junsu chose to ignore everything but the last comment. He played along and pretended to bow down his hands in reverence, causing laughter to erupt out of the other. Junsu joyfully clapped him on the back, before letting go and running ahead. "Last one to reach three streets down pays for lunch tomorrow!" Whatever, here they go again. He sprinted ahead to catch up, not realizing he was smiling too.
Changmin laughs softly at the memories. He wouldn't have had their rivalry and Junsu's competitive streak any other way, but somewhere along the way, they also became more than just rivals.
*
The Notre-Dame de Paris in France is centuries old and classic and, therefore, Changmin had assumed the atmosphere should be more somber, but when he saw Junsu laughing loudly, arms flinging dangerously, on the viewing platform of the ancient cathedral, the feeling unexpectedly fit. And then Junsu looked up. Their eyes locked and Junsu broke into a slow smile. Changmin stopped breathing and the world seemed to stop for a second, the moment feeling ethereal.
The sight was beautiful and breathtaking, and he was not just talking about the rooftops in Paris. He realized at that moment what he should have noticed a long time ago. Junsu was beautiful.
Bright, brilliant and perfect.
It was raining outside and many of the tourists had returned inside to a drier place a while ago, but Junsu stood there as if it weren't raining and as if he had not a care in the world. He finally forced himself to roll his eyes and pulled Junsu back in by the back of his shirt before he caught a cold. Junsu laughed again and ran quickly down the stairs to join the rest of their graduating class on their Paris field trip. His steps reverberated loudly, just like everything else he did, and Changmin stumbled down the stairs red-faced, wondering whether all the other tourists were annoyed by the ruckus. But when he reached the bottom of the stairs and saw guards and tourists alike smiling, amused, at Junsu, he shook his head, half in mirth and half in disbelief. Kim Junsu got away with everything and he could understand why.
That night, their class stayed at a hostel. As they inspected their small, cozy rooms, Junsu found that the window in his room couldn't close. Junsu tried again to force the window down, but it didn't budge and he inwardly cursed. "It's stuck."
Changmin made a choice and tugged on Junsu's arm. "Sleep in my room. It's going to be cold with the window open." It was an offer Junsu couldn't refuse. They awkwardly unpacked their luggage in Changmin's room and cautiously side-stepped each other within the small space. Changmin, nervous, flinched every time Junsu accidentally touched him.
"Should I take off my pants?" Junsu joked, trying to break the tension.
Changmin chokes on his spit, coughing. "No." He adds childishly, "Please refrain from removing any article of clothing during our stay together." He ignored Junsu who he felt staring at him and turned off the lights, quickly tumbling under the bedsheets from exhaustion. The day had been more tiring than their physical education class. Vaguely, he heard Junsu pulling back the covers and sinking into his side of the bed. He stayed rigidly still, conscious of every brush of Junsu's leg against his despite the layers of their sweatpants, as they settled into more comfortable positions. The room was silent, but based on Junsu's breathing, he had not fallen asleep yet.
"First time sleeping with another person?" Junsu suddenly teased, his voice soft.
His eyes shot open and he glared into the darkness. "Shut up, I'm trying to sleep." He made out Junsu grinning from the moonlight, and playfully elbowed him as revenge. After some turning, they shifted back into comfortable positions again, and this time, Changmin easily fell sleep with Junsu's arm around his waist.
The next day, as he languidly walked along a park in Paris, a strange man with blond slightly gelled hair in an expensive suit approached him. The man handed him a business card and spoke to him in accented English that Changmin could only catch half of. Right fit, style. Model. Offer next month? He would find out later that the man is from a famous modeling agency based in France that works internationally across Europe.
*
"...that way, we can both go to Seoul National University. Do you want to apply for the same dorm room together?" Junsu shielded his eyes from the sun and looked over at Changmin from his position on the football field grass.
"Seoul National University...? Didn't you get accepted to Stanford's business school in the US?"
"Yeah I did but...that is. Changmin-ah, I-- I like you," Junsu blurted. Smooth confession, Kim Junsu. He flushed, and the sun shining down on their faces suddenly felt very hot. Too hot. He stole a peek at Changmin, who was still silent, face stiff. "Changmin-ah, what I mean is, I don't mind staying to study in Korea if it means I'll get to see you more often. Our friendship doesn't have to chan--"
"Oppa! There you are! You're going to miss our rehearsal performance. You're our vocals and visual tonight."
Later, Junsu cringes at these foolish, naive words he once made. Forget the fact that Junsu stayed in Korea and studied at SNU (despite the full tuition scholarship waiting for him at Stanford and) even when Changmin never responded to his confession--they were interrupted by Yoona, Sulli, and Victoria who had dragged Changmin away with them to their end-of-the-year performance rehearsal, and Changmin and Junsu never brought up the topic again. Looking back, he reckons Changmin may have been relieved that the girls had cut their conversation short.
It's also not just the fact that Changmin left for France after graduation to launch his international modeling career. Meanwhile, Junsu, who had always thought Changmin had wanted to become a news broadcaster, only found out later from mutual friends that Changmin moved to France 2 weeks ago. Didn't he tell you? It was the fact that he had so openly shared his heart and made himself vulnerable only to be completely unacknowledged and not even spared a bit of compassion or a polite rejection in words to his face. So much for friendship. So much for first loves. He, Kim Junsu, heir to a large Japanese/South Korean conglomerate, could do without.