fo'ever.
i haven't updated in forever.
because everytime i do livejournal things
i read my last post.
and i realize that if i post... right then... i'll write about something stupid and melodramatic. and then i think... hmm. i probably just shouldn't post. because no one will want to read it.
so i don't.
which is stupid. my mood should not hinder my liverjournal writing.
i suppose.
either way... it kind of upsets me that i won't be able to look back at this point in my life and remember how fucking unhappy i was.
i've decided that i have like, eighteen thousand psychological disorders that prevent me from being normal.
i've been talking to mr. higbee about my psyche. about how i depend too much on other people for happiness. that was basically the conclusion we came to. and i've realized that i have no promise in fixing it. like, there's nothing for me to do about it.
or if there is, i don't know how.
and thus i'm caught in this constant spiral of mixed emotions and aaahhhhhhh it's confusing.
anyway.
i'm going to keegans and then brooke and maddi are spending the night. i want to write write write all the time again. maybe i will.
duhn duhhhhhhhh...
love alexis
deadly handsome man.
because everytime i do livejournal things
i read my last post.
and i realize that if i post... right then... i'll write about something stupid and melodramatic. and then i think... hmm. i probably just shouldn't post. because no one will want to read it.
so i don't.
which is stupid. my mood should not hinder my liverjournal writing.
i suppose.
either way... it kind of upsets me that i won't be able to look back at this point in my life and remember how fucking unhappy i was.
i've decided that i have like, eighteen thousand psychological disorders that prevent me from being normal.
i've been talking to mr. higbee about my psyche. about how i depend too much on other people for happiness. that was basically the conclusion we came to. and i've realized that i have no promise in fixing it. like, there's nothing for me to do about it.
or if there is, i don't know how.
and thus i'm caught in this constant spiral of mixed emotions and aaahhhhhhh it's confusing.
anyway.
i'm going to keegans and then brooke and maddi are spending the night. i want to write write write all the time again. maybe i will.
duhn duhhhhhhhh...
love alexis
deadly handsome man.