friends
My mom once told me "Friends come and go, but your family will always be there". At that point (I was somewhere in my teens) I didn't quite believe her on the friends part. I've since realized that is very much the case. Friends go for different reasons, but they go.
A person I know (I'm currently reconsidering my definition of "friend") told me that I am very selfless. Which is only somewhat true. I might do things for people I care about, even to ridiculous amount, but recently I realized that I keep a tab in my mind. You know, along the lines of "I did such and such for personX, what has he done for me". That probably means I'm at least a bit selfish... but that also made me reconsider the relationships with the people close to me (family excluded, of course).
The horrible realization - out of all my close friends, there is one I can count on to do things for me (to the ridiculous situation of him wanting to do smth. nice for me, and me getting in a fight with him, because, you know, I don't deserve it), and another one who I think has all the signs of being a considerate, caring friend.
All the rest I should probably just stop hanging out with. I think I've mentioned this before - a friend I cannot count on, is simply not worth it for me. And by "count on" here I mean all sorts of things - and not just coming to help me when I'm in a tough spot. More recently I mean "acknowledging the fact I exist not only when they have a problem" and "occasionally putting up with my needs".
Oh well. I guess I've reached one of those points in life when you have to reconsider who you are, and maybe change how you act, and what you believe. Else I will probably drive most of my so-called "friends" away... if I decide it's worth having people like that around me.
A person I know (I'm currently reconsidering my definition of "friend") told me that I am very selfless. Which is only somewhat true. I might do things for people I care about, even to ridiculous amount, but recently I realized that I keep a tab in my mind. You know, along the lines of "I did such and such for personX, what has he done for me". That probably means I'm at least a bit selfish... but that also made me reconsider the relationships with the people close to me (family excluded, of course).
The horrible realization - out of all my close friends, there is one I can count on to do things for me (to the ridiculous situation of him wanting to do smth. nice for me, and me getting in a fight with him, because, you know, I don't deserve it), and another one who I think has all the signs of being a considerate, caring friend.
All the rest I should probably just stop hanging out with. I think I've mentioned this before - a friend I cannot count on, is simply not worth it for me. And by "count on" here I mean all sorts of things - and not just coming to help me when I'm in a tough spot. More recently I mean "acknowledging the fact I exist not only when they have a problem" and "occasionally putting up with my needs".
Oh well. I guess I've reached one of those points in life when you have to reconsider who you are, and maybe change how you act, and what you believe. Else I will probably drive most of my so-called "friends" away... if I decide it's worth having people like that around me.