tears are immesley pointless
i've cried a lot today. i hope i can move. i know it won't make me stop thinking about you constantly, or you, but at least i can rest assured that no one there has the fainest idea who you are. but i will try not to be too bitter or hateful, since i know thats what you hate about me.
i'm looking at a picture of a little boy i never knew. he's so cute and innocent, with no idea of what the future holds for him. he does not know that in a few many years he will return to that place a different person, with a girl who thinks the world of him. they will experiense many ups and downs that week, in many different ways. but the whole time will be laughing and giggles. another thing i like about maryland is that there are none of these places. none of the places that have so many memories of you. i can't even be in my own house without every little thing reminding me of you. i cannont even be in my body without that. had i know almost a year ago that things would turn out this way, would i still have done it? perhaps. because if i knew things would turn out this way, i would have tried then to change. but it wouldn't have done any good. because no matter how much i am what you want, it wouldn't have worked. no matter what i did you still would have left.
you lived your life sheltered and now you're trying to break free and figure out who the boy in that picture grows up to be. i hope he likes himself 20 years down the road. this is all part of life. and had i known this is how life really is, i don't think i would have been so anxious to leave school. but we all have to leave at some point. i don't know how people end up married. i guess they date people for a few years, and then find a random person and decide that it might not be so bad to be with them. but in todays time even marriage means nothing, and is quickly done away with as soon as there is a fight. i was pretend married once. i thought it was very sweet. we each still have the rings. i stopped wearing mine because i was afraid it would break. and it would have eventually, but all things break eventually. nothing lasts forever.
except love. i still love you stephen. i still love you rachel. i still love you owen and now leah too. i still love you mom and dad. and i still love you chris. and that is something, that will never change. true love is the only this that lasts.
i'm looking at a picture of a little boy i never knew. he's so cute and innocent, with no idea of what the future holds for him. he does not know that in a few many years he will return to that place a different person, with a girl who thinks the world of him. they will experiense many ups and downs that week, in many different ways. but the whole time will be laughing and giggles. another thing i like about maryland is that there are none of these places. none of the places that have so many memories of you. i can't even be in my own house without every little thing reminding me of you. i cannont even be in my body without that. had i know almost a year ago that things would turn out this way, would i still have done it? perhaps. because if i knew things would turn out this way, i would have tried then to change. but it wouldn't have done any good. because no matter how much i am what you want, it wouldn't have worked. no matter what i did you still would have left.
you lived your life sheltered and now you're trying to break free and figure out who the boy in that picture grows up to be. i hope he likes himself 20 years down the road. this is all part of life. and had i known this is how life really is, i don't think i would have been so anxious to leave school. but we all have to leave at some point. i don't know how people end up married. i guess they date people for a few years, and then find a random person and decide that it might not be so bad to be with them. but in todays time even marriage means nothing, and is quickly done away with as soon as there is a fight. i was pretend married once. i thought it was very sweet. we each still have the rings. i stopped wearing mine because i was afraid it would break. and it would have eventually, but all things break eventually. nothing lasts forever.
except love. i still love you stephen. i still love you rachel. i still love you owen and now leah too. i still love you mom and dad. and i still love you chris. and that is something, that will never change. true love is the only this that lasts.