fic: Time And Other Abstract Things 2/2 (The Doctor/Rose)
Title: Time And Other Abstract Things 2/2
Summary: A story of what happened to Rose after "Doomsday". The fic assumes that none of the things after that episode ever happened, including Donna appearing into the Tardis. So complitely AU.
Pairing: The Doctor/Rose, OC/Rose
Characters: Rose, The Doctor, few OC:s
Rating: From G to PC-13, I think?
Spoilers: 1st and 2nd season.
Warnings: Not exactly a happy ending...
Disclaimer: I own nothing and the plot from Prologue on is complitely fictional and never happened in the actual series
Betas: None :( If someone wants to be my beta, it would be more than amazing! English isn't my first language, and I still got lots of learning to do!
A/N: So I was too lazy to find out the actual dates for the oncoming title etc. I'm sorry for all the errors that there still are in the story.
Prologue: http://sofia-rock.livejournal.com/2204.html
Part 1: http://sofia-rock.livejournal.com/2530.html
DON'T READ THIS BEFORE YOU'VE READ THE OTHER PARTS!!
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3. 10. 5. 2037, London, Great-Britain
She's had enough.
30 years in confusion and fake feelings and strange brain factories is enough.
Rose hates herself, but she just can't stand this anymore, she's going to take the retcon.
30 years, and now she's decided to forget.
The day that the memories would've faded never came. She waited, though, she waited so long and faithfully.
10950 sunsets and sunrises and it never came.
Nobody should blame her, Rose just wants to breathe for a while, she wants to spend the rest of her years in some kind of satisfaction with her children and husband.
5 years ago Jackie died.
Rose declined to go and take care of her father. It was too ironic to see Pete mourning after her and know that in real world he was supposed to be dead far before his wife.
Rose, John, Riette and Gary Winston, her boyfriend went to the funeral all dressed in black, but the weather was incredibly bright and sunny. The birds were all singing and the little kids were driving around with electronic mini-cars and little girls were skipping right before the mausoleum.
It made Rose furious. It should be raining when her mother dies, this was not fair! The contrast was only heartbreaking. All and all, everything in this new world was just one big contrast.
Rose had seen more than any human being could ever imagine and now here she was, in a normal world, witnessing as first people landed on Mars!
Everybody cheers!
Everybody cries!
Everbody dies.
Not long after that Peter had passed away too. He couldn't live without his wife.
Irony, Ah, Irony! Rose had thought and hadn't know whether she should laugh or cry.
She had cried.
They buried her father next to mum in the Summer of 2033. On the funeral day the water had been pouring down like the whole sky was crying.
Even today Rose doesn't quite realize she is sort of an orphan now. There's no dad, there's no mum, there's no Doctor.
Yes, she has her fabulous kids, but that's not enough. That should be enough, to every mother and every wife and that's why she's decided to take the retcon, only now she's gathered up her courage to finally do it.
She stands in a bedroom empty of people aside from herself. On the table there are three little white pills, right next to the birthday cards of this year.
”Happy Birthday Rose, 51 years and still going strong! You're he best mum there could ever be”
From Riette and her husband, of course.
”Mum, you're the dearest! Have fun on your birthday!”
That one was from John.
”Dear wife,
We've shared our best years with each other, we've had two amazing and beautiful kids who have grown into astonishingly responsible adults, mostly because of you.
We've managed to spend all these years without breaking up, and without any other in our hearts than us.
At least I can honestly say that there has been no other woman in my life.
I love you, and only you Rose, and I will love you till and after I die.
Yours truly,
Noah.”
Rose realizes she's been holding her breath, as she's been trying not to cry. She breathes out and squeezes her eyes shut tightly for a minute.
Then she gathers up the pills, takes a glass of water, quickly, quickly, before she breaks down and chickens out again.
And she swallows.
And she swallows.
And she swallows.
________________________________________________________________________________
”Hey, you there, excuse me!”
An old grey bearded man, wearing a blue coat and yellow rubber boots turns to look at the man who's shouting at him.
”What do you want?” he asks suspiciously.
”Ah, me? I just wonder if you could tell me what year it is?” The other man asks eagerly.
”It's 2037, are you drunk or something?”
”Thank you!” The man says, turns jumping around and runs around the corner, leaving the old guy shaking his head and muttering something mean about kids of these days always interrupting elderly men.
The Doctor hasn't time to think about it much, he just wants to find Lacer Street more than he's been wanting anything in a long long while.
He runs around looking at the signs on the walls.
He has spent... He doesn't quite remember how much time, but alot, and now he's finally found a way! He's broken the wall! Not too much of course, not that the entire universe would collapse, just a crack big enough to bring through the Tardis, and with it, the last of the Time Lords, himself.
After he finally realized what he'd have to do in the year 2000, he had travelled around the whole universe, in 15 different places all in all to find the cordinates he needed. It was still risky, but he did it all without a moment of hesitating.
”A-haa! Lacer Street!” The Doctor shouts in child-like expectation as he notices the sign and runs off to find the right flat.
It's late in the evening, so the front door is locked. You can't get in without the right code or a key. The Doctor curses. He had been planning not to use the sonic srewdriver in a while, but since he has no other option than that, apart from breaking down the whole door, he pulls it out and opens the door in a flash of blue light. He closes it behind him and lopes all 39 steps to get to 3rd floor, in front of a big metallic door that says ”Jackson- Tyler”
He rings the doorbell and waits.
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There's someone at the door.
Rose sighs when she hears the bell ringing. Who on Earth could it be? Noah is at work and she's said to all the others that she wants to be alone today.
It takes 15 minutes for retcon to start effecting and she wants to spent them well; alone.
She decides not to go get the door and sits down on a chair, because her feet have started to shake.
She faintly realizes that her heart beats incredibly fast, and because it's so silent, it's like sound of drums that just keeps getting faster and faster and louder and louder and....
The door opens.
Rose jumps up complitely frightened. Her first reaction would be to grab the baseball bat by the door, but something tells her that whoever came from the door isn't dangerous.
”Hello? Is anybody home?”
The voice is a man's voice and oddly familiar. Rose walks to the door and peeks.
”Rose?”
Oh my Lord!
”Rose, it is you! Older than we last met, eh? But look at you, you still haven't changed at all!”
”No...” Rose whispers. ”Oh no no no no no!”
”What?” The Doctor asks, warm look in his eyes slowly starting to turn startled ”What is it? What's wrong?”
”You... came back” Rose groans and falls down, for her feet no longer carry her weight. The Doctor runs next to her and bends quickly.
It can't be, it can't!
”I did, Rose, and I missed you so much, but now I'm here. So tell me what's wrong?” There was something incredibly disturbing in the air, the Doctor could feel it and... he was suddenly scared.
”The Retcon...” Rose whispers. The Doctor's eyes grow larger in apprehension.
”But... you didn't take it! You told me that, you hid it and just pretended...”
Rose is too shocked to wonder how the Doctor knows that. She puts two fingers down her throat like she's trying to vomit but it doesn't help. You can't vomit retcon, it's impossible. Once you take it there's no coming back.
”It's been 30 years, Doctor, 30 years... I couldn't take it anymore, I simply couldn't! Mother's gone and dad's gone and I'm so very very alone and it hurts. You know how it feels like, don't you? Don't answer, I know you do.” And she tries to vomit again, in spite of knowing that it doesn't help.
”How long ago?” The Doctor asks. He's never felt this weak and powerless in his entire life.
”I have..” she looks at the clock on the wall ”15 seconds...left...You know I love you, I always did” Rose speaks out fast. The Doctor suffocates inside his own ocean of mind, surrounded by sharks and he drowns and falls down.
Help me!
”I know it, Rose, I do. And I understand you, you will have a good life with Noah from now on, I know it, don't worry, it's gonna be alright, I swear” The Doctor babbles out and does the only thing he can right now: He holds her.
”I'm so sorry” Rose whispers and tears start to pour out of her old, old yes.
”I love you” The Doctor says silently.
The light in Rose's eyes changes in a second and finally reforms. The Doctor pulls her off his arms and Rose throws her head back a bit.
The change is almost physical. The Doctor sits on the floor, feet tangled and looks with vulnerable eyes as an invisible vail falls on her and wipes away all the painful memories that have bothered her for so long.
Rose opens her eyes as if it was a sign of her reborning.
They both stand up. The Doctor looks at her and he can see that there's nothing left anymore, as she opens her mouth to speak.
”I'm terribly sorry but... Who might you be?” Rose asks with a confused look in her eyes.
”Me... I'm just an old friend” The Doctor answers, not looking at her, his face complitely expressionless.
”I really am sorry, but I don't remember you at all, my boy... You seem so young but you have such old eyes... What is your name?”
”I'm... The Doctor”
”A Doctor, huh? Maybe you can cure me, I'm feeling a bit strange and I have a terrible headache” Rose laughs. The Doctor doesn't join her.
”I'm sorry but I have to go” he simply says and turns around, not looking at her again even once.
He goes straight to the door and out to the yard.
The porch is dripping water on him when he steps outside, on to the asphalt and over the wet grass, out of the gate. Apparently it started raining while he was inside.
I ment to tell you today...
He swallows the sob that is treatingly starting to form in his throat and he looks up. There are no starts to be seen, only water against the black sky.
London water.
Grey, unplesant British rain, not that fairytale one, that makes every parting more dramatic and charming and delicate. No, this is just same old water from the London Canale, that has reformed into clouds in the sky and is now pouring down again.
Nothing delicate, nothing dramatic.
Just painful.
The Doctor walks slowly in the shady night all the way to the other side of the town where Tardis is still standing ever faithfully.
Suddenly he brushes it's blue wooden door without thinking, trying to force all bad thoughts to go away. His hand's movement changes slowly from stroking to hitting and he hits and beats off the Tardis door over and over and over again, right until his hand bleeds.
He backs off slowly and stands straight into a pond of rainwater. He bites his lower lip until it bleeds too and looks up again. The stars still aren't there.
He sighs shakingly and without any more dawdling grabs the Tardis keys, and is just about to open the door when he hears someone calling his name.
”Doctor!”
For a moment he thinks it's Rose, the voice is a bit familiar, but it's impossible.
It simply can't be her.
A young man runs into the Doctor's range of vision, panting like he has run a marathon.
”It's me, John. I'm Rose's son. I followed you all the way!”
The Doctor doesn't know what to think, he just wants this to be over quickly...
”Oh, you... Listen, I really have to go...”
”I want to come with you!”
The Doctor's facial expression changes complitely from devastated to suprised.
”Wot?”
”I know who you are! You were in love with my mum. I used to listen to her as a child. I know you.”
”John, I'm sorry, I really am...”
”I'm not normal, Doctor, I remember things. I remember everything that's ever happened to me, I remember the hospital I was born in. I remember flashes of my time in the womb. I remember how mum used to talk to me, tell me about you when I was about 2 months old. She really loved you.
And that was when I started to too.” The young man looks desperate. ”You don't understand what it's like...
I knew right from the start that she didn't take those amnesia pills. And I continued to listen to her talk....
Now it's all gonna change anyway. Mum took the pills now, didn't she? I know she did.
Riette has gone married, she's happy. Grandma and grandpa died many years ago. Tony moved to France with his boyfriend and Daddy's still working in Torchwood, he's become a respected veteran now.
They're all where they belong but mum...
Mum's dying.
You know that, don't you? She's gonna die any day soon now, she can't live without her memories of you. They were her strenght and curse and she cherised them just like you did...
There's nothing for me here, let me come with you.”
”I can't... It'll be dangerous and you're just a kid.” The Doctor refuses to look into those eyes.
”I'm 20. She was 19 when you met.”
”And look what happened.”
”But she wouldn't change it for a world, she told me that! You're amazing, all the things you've seen, every planet, every light, every war, every surviving!”
The Doctor gazes his eyes down:
”You don't know what you're asking for.”
”Belive me, I do. And you don't stand it all alone, not after this. You need someone.” John looks at the Doctor, his hands shaking desperatley in the pockets of his jacket.
”You do realize you can't ever return.” Rose's eyes... Rose's eyes...
”I do. Look, I've already said goodbye to everyone” John grins. ”I know you're gonna say yes.”
The Doctor stays silent. John shivers in anticipation and tries to tear his eyes from the man who wears a strange combination of old pair of converse shoes and a suit, the man who's hair had been flattened by the rain and who is the most spectacular thing there is in the universe.
Finally he speaks, almost whispering.
”Yes”
John wonders if he should jump around in pure ecstasy, but decides that it would propably be offensive in this situation, so instead he just says: ”Thank you” in the most serious tone he can.
”Just remember, if you get lost, it's not in my responsibility!” The Doctor reminds, and John could swear that he saw a glimpse of smile on his face.
”I swear.”
”Get aboard then John...”
”John Jackson” John answers quickly.
”I do hope you're worth it, John Jackson.”
John grins and they step inside together.
”It is bigger on the inside!” the familiar words leave his lips as soon as they're there.
But the Doctor is too lost in his eyes to hear it.
Too lost in those brown eyes that resemble Rose's so, so, so much and he starts to wonder if this was wise after all...
But as he watches John dance around the suprisingly big space inside such small police box, he realizes that the boy was right.
He could never do this alone.
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Please comment, this was my first attempt at writing something a bit longer...