The Best Chef in the World
"What the hell is this?" House tossed his cane onto the floor and plopped down onto the couch beside Wilson, picking up a carton of food from the coffee table.
"Uh...Thai, like you wanted."
"Not the food, the television. What the hell is this?"
"Kitchen Nightmares."
"Looks stupid. I'm changing it."
"What? No! It just started and--Hey!" Wilson leaned over, ripping the remote from House's hand and flipping the channel back to where it was, then tossed the remote behind the couch. "I just need to see what he thinks of their food. Its the best part, ok?"
"What who thinks?"
"Gordon Ramsay."
House gave Wilson a blank look.
Wilson sighed. "He's only the best chef in all of America."
"If he's so great, then how come I've never heard of him?"
Wilson ignored him and just waved at him to shut him up as Chef Ramsay appeared on the television. House rolled his eyes and sunk back into the couch cushions, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table, shoveling forkfuls of noodles into his mouth, trying to enjoy the show.
After a few minutes, however, House had had enough and found himself peering over the back of the couch in hopes of finding the remote Wilson had tossed.
"Wilson."
"Shhhh!"
"Wilson! This is ridiculous. All he does is sit there and say 'Fuck' all the time."
"I know. It's...sexy."
House turned his head and raised an eyebrow at Wilson. Wilson could feel his cheeks begin to burn.
House smirked and slammed his carton of Thai food down onto the coffee table, pieces of food spilling down the sides. He loudly smacked his hand down beside it.
"These noodles are fucking pathetic. A fucking baby could have made a better meal!"
"House...what are you doing?"
"Trying to express my sheer hatred of this fucking Thai food! I've eaten better food out of the hospital dumpster!"
Wilson gave House a look of disbelief.
"...And I'm trying to get you to fuck me."
Wilson just shook his head.
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Is it working?"
"I said it was sexy. I didn't say I wanted to fuck him." He thought for a moment. "I only want to do that when I see him doing the dishes."
House snorted. "Nice try."
Wilson shrugged, turning his attention back to the television. "It was worth a shot."
"Uh...Thai, like you wanted."
"Not the food, the television. What the hell is this?"
"Kitchen Nightmares."
"Looks stupid. I'm changing it."
"What? No! It just started and--Hey!" Wilson leaned over, ripping the remote from House's hand and flipping the channel back to where it was, then tossed the remote behind the couch. "I just need to see what he thinks of their food. Its the best part, ok?"
"What who thinks?"
"Gordon Ramsay."
House gave Wilson a blank look.
Wilson sighed. "He's only the best chef in all of America."
"If he's so great, then how come I've never heard of him?"
Wilson ignored him and just waved at him to shut him up as Chef Ramsay appeared on the television. House rolled his eyes and sunk back into the couch cushions, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table, shoveling forkfuls of noodles into his mouth, trying to enjoy the show.
After a few minutes, however, House had had enough and found himself peering over the back of the couch in hopes of finding the remote Wilson had tossed.
"Wilson."
"Shhhh!"
"Wilson! This is ridiculous. All he does is sit there and say 'Fuck' all the time."
"I know. It's...sexy."
House turned his head and raised an eyebrow at Wilson. Wilson could feel his cheeks begin to burn.
House smirked and slammed his carton of Thai food down onto the coffee table, pieces of food spilling down the sides. He loudly smacked his hand down beside it.
"These noodles are fucking pathetic. A fucking baby could have made a better meal!"
"House...what are you doing?"
"Trying to express my sheer hatred of this fucking Thai food! I've eaten better food out of the hospital dumpster!"
Wilson gave House a look of disbelief.
"...And I'm trying to get you to fuck me."
Wilson just shook his head.
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Is it working?"
"I said it was sexy. I didn't say I wanted to fuck him." He thought for a moment. "I only want to do that when I see him doing the dishes."
House snorted. "Nice try."
Wilson shrugged, turning his attention back to the television. "It was worth a shot."