A Kitten for all Seasons - for Jane
"...But you said anything."
"What I meant to say, was anything but that."
"Oh well. You didn't specify at the time, so now it's too late. And what do you care anyway? It's not like you're ever here, so how often will you actually see her anyway?" Jane narrowed her eyes at Wilson, and lightly scratched between the kitten's ears.
Wilson chewed on his bottom lip, digging through the filing cabinet of lies and excuses in his brain for one that might actually work here. "What if...what if I have a patient that's allergic? Sick as they are, I would hate to put them through anything else."
Jane rolled her eyes. "Well, if sleeping with them won't make them forgive you-"
Wilson reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jane, that isn't fair-"
"- then this will probably help." She bent down and dug around in the bag of pet supplies she had picked up, pulling out a lint brush. She tossed it towards Wilson, and he sighed as he looked it over.
"I'm not sure how effective this will be."
Jane scoffed. "First, unless you're going to be hugging and rubbing up on your patients that should be perfectly effective. Second, I'm lonely. I thought you wanted me to find something that would make me happy?" She looked up at him with large, puppy dog eyes, and he sighed and kissed her gently on the forehead.
"You're right. I'm sorry."
~~~~
"If you were really sorry, you'd go home this second and throw it down a well!" House frowned as he brought another handful of tissues up to his nose and sneezed.
"You know I can't do that House!"
House sneezed again and blew his nose, tossing the wad of used tissues at Wilson. "Sure you can. Compared to sneaking around on your wife five nights a week, I'd think tossing out a kitten ought to be child's play."
Wilson sighed and rolled off of the bed, walked over to his briefcase, and pulled out the lint brush Jane had so thoughtfully packed for him that morning. He peeled off the first fur covered sheet, shoved it back into his bag, and began running the new one over his bare skin.
House watched him through red and watery eyes, shaking his head in disgust. "What are you even doing? What's that supposed to do?"
"Get the fur off. Look, I'm doing the best I can."
"Well, your best obviously isn't good enough." House sniffled, and slowly moved his hand from rubbing his sinuses down to stroking his cock. "Good thing I can take care of things myself."
Wilson watched him, and frowned. He started rolling himself with even more ferocity. "Just give me five seconds."
House snorted and started jerking faster. "I'll be done by then. Just have to think about your wife and-" House leaned his head back and let out a congested groan as he spilled out over his hand.
Wilson stared, wide eyed and open mouthed. "My...wife?"
House sneezed as Wilson walked closer to the bed. "I'm allergic to cats Wilson, not pussy."
Wilson narrowed his eyes.
That cat was toast.