Next time, I'm getting a puppy
Yes, I am 39 weeks and 2 days, I am still here and I'm still pregnant, and I have HAD IT WITH THIS DAMN PREGNANCY. FOR. REAL.
Less than a week ago I told my mom, "You know, it's getting better--my pelvis doesn't hurt as bad and I feel like I could probably keep going for a little while, so I'll probably be late."
Well, hah. On Saturday, my pelvis pain came back with a vengeance, like it heard I was talking shit and it decided to show a bitch what's up. IT IS FUCKING UNBEARABLE. It hurts so bad I can't even cry. I'm just surprised. I can barely walk with the combination of the baby's head being low and my pelvis being wrenched apart. I can't sleep: I can't sleep on my stomach, I can't sleep on my back because it puts all the weight of my belly on my spine, and I can't sleep on my sides anymore because it makes my pelvis grind and crunch together. So I've had to start sleeping sitting up--last night I had about 6 pillows propped up behind me and I slept sitting up. Do you know how uncomfortable that is? Because you will eventually involuntarily try to move to a more comfortable position, and then as I've mentioned with the grinding and the crunching and the unbearable pain. I'm exhausted and irritable and my stomach is a mess and my back hurts and I just want to crawl into a hospital and beg the nearest medical professional to get this damn thing out of me.
It's incredible, what the human body is capable of: when you get pregnant, and you *want* to be pregnant, you feel ecstatic. And then over time you are still ecstatic but you start to get scared about labor--how can I do this? How can I push a baby out of me? I don't think I can handle the pain! And then, this is the genius part: your body knows you are scared so what it does is it makes you so uncomfortable over time that eventually you stop being scared and start looking forward to labor, because LABOR ENDS AND THIS PREGNANCY MAY NOT.
Yeah, I'm still nervous about labor, because it's this unknown quantity of pain: you know it will hurt, it's just a matter of how much. I'm going to try to do it as natural as possible but I'm not going to beat myself up if it turns out I'm a pussy and want an epidural 3 seconds after contractions start. But as I say at this point I prefer it, because labor will end in a relatively short period of time, when you consider that I could theoretically be pregnant for another 2 or 3 weeks. Yes, I would gladly push a head out of my vag. Gladly.
And then the Steelers lost to the Bears! Dang!
So, in short: Grr.
Less than a week ago I told my mom, "You know, it's getting better--my pelvis doesn't hurt as bad and I feel like I could probably keep going for a little while, so I'll probably be late."
Well, hah. On Saturday, my pelvis pain came back with a vengeance, like it heard I was talking shit and it decided to show a bitch what's up. IT IS FUCKING UNBEARABLE. It hurts so bad I can't even cry. I'm just surprised. I can barely walk with the combination of the baby's head being low and my pelvis being wrenched apart. I can't sleep: I can't sleep on my stomach, I can't sleep on my back because it puts all the weight of my belly on my spine, and I can't sleep on my sides anymore because it makes my pelvis grind and crunch together. So I've had to start sleeping sitting up--last night I had about 6 pillows propped up behind me and I slept sitting up. Do you know how uncomfortable that is? Because you will eventually involuntarily try to move to a more comfortable position, and then as I've mentioned with the grinding and the crunching and the unbearable pain. I'm exhausted and irritable and my stomach is a mess and my back hurts and I just want to crawl into a hospital and beg the nearest medical professional to get this damn thing out of me.
It's incredible, what the human body is capable of: when you get pregnant, and you *want* to be pregnant, you feel ecstatic. And then over time you are still ecstatic but you start to get scared about labor--how can I do this? How can I push a baby out of me? I don't think I can handle the pain! And then, this is the genius part: your body knows you are scared so what it does is it makes you so uncomfortable over time that eventually you stop being scared and start looking forward to labor, because LABOR ENDS AND THIS PREGNANCY MAY NOT.
Yeah, I'm still nervous about labor, because it's this unknown quantity of pain: you know it will hurt, it's just a matter of how much. I'm going to try to do it as natural as possible but I'm not going to beat myself up if it turns out I'm a pussy and want an epidural 3 seconds after contractions start. But as I say at this point I prefer it, because labor will end in a relatively short period of time, when you consider that I could theoretically be pregnant for another 2 or 3 weeks. Yes, I would gladly push a head out of my vag. Gladly.
And then the Steelers lost to the Bears! Dang!
So, in short: Grr.