Seeing the pictures really made me start thinking about two different things. The first was how my grandmother must feel, as said in the entry.
But the second thing which really occupied my mind was all sparked by seeing the picture of my grandfather.
...he looked so much like me. And his life is all done and past now, you know? I remember when he died. I was only 8 years old.
Yet there he was, looking at me in the face in the picture, with his youthful body, and an energy which said, "I'm ready to take on the world."
And I guess he did, didn't he? If he didn't, I wouldn't be around here to reflect on it all.
But the thing is, how long is it going to be until I'm gone, you know? I mean, my days as a child are only a month away from ending! While that's very exciting, I will never have all that time back! I've had one childhood, and now it's past. I move on to the next phase of my life.
But how long before that passes, you know? I don't mean the absolute time, (12 years till I'm 30), I mean the relative time. I look back on my childhood, and it seems like both an eternity, and a blur. All those experiences, all those interactions, all that time, is gone, and I'll never have it back.
And from every single adult I've ever, ever talked to, it just gets faster and faster as we go.
I don't know, I just have this, like, fear. A fear that I'll wake up tomorrow, and be 60 years old, and be wondering where it all went.
Life is just so fleeting.
Hackneyed, I know, but it's just really ringing true for me right about now, you know?
And so, I have this philosophy on life, where I really believe you have to enjoy everyday to it's fullest. (again, hackneyed, I know I know) Not being religious, I believe the only purpose of our existence in this world is to enjoy life and make it more enjoyable for others.
But my version of the enjoy-life-to-the-fullest philosophy isn't that stupid, doesn't-plan-for-the-future, "This is my rationalization for getting fucked up every night" philosophy. It think you have to life to the fullest, while still planning for the future. Live life having fun, and live it long.
But the second thing which really occupied my mind was all sparked by seeing the picture of my grandfather.
...he looked so much like me. And his life is all done and past now, you know? I remember when he died. I was only 8 years old.
Yet there he was, looking at me in the face in the picture, with his youthful body, and an energy which said, "I'm ready to take on the world."
And I guess he did, didn't he? If he didn't, I wouldn't be around here to reflect on it all.
But the thing is, how long is it going to be until I'm gone, you know? I mean, my days as a child are only a month away from ending! While that's very exciting, I will never have all that time back! I've had one childhood, and now it's past. I move on to the next phase of my life.
But how long before that passes, you know? I don't mean the absolute time, (12 years till I'm 30), I mean the relative time. I look back on my childhood, and it seems like both an eternity, and a blur. All those experiences, all those interactions, all that time, is gone, and I'll never have it back.
And from every single adult I've ever, ever talked to, it just gets faster and faster as we go.
I don't know, I just have this, like, fear. A fear that I'll wake up tomorrow, and be 60 years old, and be wondering where it all went.
Life is just so fleeting.
Hackneyed, I know, but it's just really ringing true for me right about now, you know?
And so, I have this philosophy on life, where I really believe you have to enjoy everyday to it's fullest. (again, hackneyed, I know I know) Not being religious, I believe the only purpose of our existence in this world is to enjoy life and make it more enjoyable for others.
But my version of the enjoy-life-to-the-fullest philosophy isn't that stupid, doesn't-plan-for-the-future, "This is my rationalization for getting fucked up every night" philosophy. It think you have to life to the fullest, while still planning for the future. Live life having fun, and live it long.
Just some random thoughts of mine,
Brandon
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment