(no subject)
i feel like i am about to explode, and no one reads this anyway.
jasons on tour and i am dying. im so angry and frustrated and annoyed. he's been gone for 3 weeks and we still have almost a month to go.
i've had so much to deal with these past few weeks. his cat had bladder stones and was pissing blood ALLLL over the house. like on my bed, on my drawing pads, on the rugs, on the walls, everywhere. i was cleaning up bloody pee at a minimum of about 6 times a day. mopping constantly and trying to keep the house smelling ok. i finally told jason i couldn't handle it anymore and she needed to have surgery right away to have the stones removed. so i had to take her to surgery and have been caring for her since. she is still peeing on things.
that same week, i had to go to 3 doctors appointment. i had 8 vials of blood taken from me, had a ct scan and was checked into the hospital for a day for a bone marrow biopsy. seriously the worst week of my life. and then to come home sore as fuck and exhausted from the sedatives to fight with jasons cat because she doesnt like taking her antibiotics and keeping up with the general upkeep of our house. basically all of the cleaning and bill paying has just fallen into my lap. cool.
i am terrified to find the results of all these tests because it could potentially be very bad. and all the while i am dealing with all of these things alone so jason can go play shows in a basement somewhere to 20 people.
i am trying so hard not to be just flat out mean and say i just dont give two fucks about run with the hunted because i know it's important to him, but it sucks so bad to be left behind and to have all of his responsibilities just dumped on me.
i was about to move out of state when jason and i got together and i chose to stay here because i wanted to be in a relationship with him. i knew touring was going to be hard and i knew it bothered me when we got together and i chose to ignore it because i thought we could just make it work. and right now, it is not working for me.
i have no idea what to do.
jasons on tour and i am dying. im so angry and frustrated and annoyed. he's been gone for 3 weeks and we still have almost a month to go.
i've had so much to deal with these past few weeks. his cat had bladder stones and was pissing blood ALLLL over the house. like on my bed, on my drawing pads, on the rugs, on the walls, everywhere. i was cleaning up bloody pee at a minimum of about 6 times a day. mopping constantly and trying to keep the house smelling ok. i finally told jason i couldn't handle it anymore and she needed to have surgery right away to have the stones removed. so i had to take her to surgery and have been caring for her since. she is still peeing on things.
that same week, i had to go to 3 doctors appointment. i had 8 vials of blood taken from me, had a ct scan and was checked into the hospital for a day for a bone marrow biopsy. seriously the worst week of my life. and then to come home sore as fuck and exhausted from the sedatives to fight with jasons cat because she doesnt like taking her antibiotics and keeping up with the general upkeep of our house. basically all of the cleaning and bill paying has just fallen into my lap. cool.
i am terrified to find the results of all these tests because it could potentially be very bad. and all the while i am dealing with all of these things alone so jason can go play shows in a basement somewhere to 20 people.
i am trying so hard not to be just flat out mean and say i just dont give two fucks about run with the hunted because i know it's important to him, but it sucks so bad to be left behind and to have all of his responsibilities just dumped on me.
i was about to move out of state when jason and i got together and i chose to stay here because i wanted to be in a relationship with him. i knew touring was going to be hard and i knew it bothered me when we got together and i chose to ignore it because i thought we could just make it work. and right now, it is not working for me.
i have no idea what to do.