the kim also rises
i can't believe how fucked up some people are. don't get me wrong, i've done some fucked up shit that i'm not proud of - but learning from those experiences, i've become more aware and definitely more sensitive to peoples feelings and the actions that are caused by these feelings. i'd like to think people are innately good, so i can't help but feel disappointed when i, or the people i surround myself with falter. i mean, i understand that people feel jealous, insecure, paranoid, unloved, threatened, angry, or betrayed every now and again, but it's not necessary to purposely or subconsciously jeopardize or hurt another person because you feel this way. it's human nature to feel negatively when things don't go well in your life, i mean that's why we have emotions in the first place, but what you choose to do in reaction to these emotions is completely controllable.
i guess all these thoughts started a few months ago when i was on the other side. more specifically, i was the person doing fucked up shit (unconsciously, of course) to someone who was the furthest thing from deserving of such treatment. and after i realized the extent of my actions, i learned that even i could be selfish, conniving, and fake. and now that i've grown from and past that, i'm in another situation where i'm the one being hated on or treated unkindly towards. it's a crazy unfair world we live in. part of me is so tired of bending over backwards to protect peoples feelings so that they're happy because then i'm living MY life according to other peoples rules and what they expect from me. But at the same time i know exactly how it would feel to be in the other person's shoes and it's hard not to be sensitive to that. my gift and curse is that i'm too understanding ugh.
i think everyone should try to be as happy as possible and try not to hold grudges or feel bitter towards someone that you feel has done you wrong. it's worse to let a bad experience dictate the rest of your life because then you're just a prisoner to your own emotions. do you really think that when you're old, and have a loving and happy family, you're still going to be worrying about the same things? for me at least, the only thing i'll regret is how much time i wasted moping about the things i couldn't change, feeling jealous about another person or bitter about something i couldn't have. the most you can do with negative situations and people is to learn from it and move the fuck on.
i guess all these thoughts started a few months ago when i was on the other side. more specifically, i was the person doing fucked up shit (unconsciously, of course) to someone who was the furthest thing from deserving of such treatment. and after i realized the extent of my actions, i learned that even i could be selfish, conniving, and fake. and now that i've grown from and past that, i'm in another situation where i'm the one being hated on or treated unkindly towards. it's a crazy unfair world we live in. part of me is so tired of bending over backwards to protect peoples feelings so that they're happy because then i'm living MY life according to other peoples rules and what they expect from me. But at the same time i know exactly how it would feel to be in the other person's shoes and it's hard not to be sensitive to that. my gift and curse is that i'm too understanding ugh.
i think everyone should try to be as happy as possible and try not to hold grudges or feel bitter towards someone that you feel has done you wrong. it's worse to let a bad experience dictate the rest of your life because then you're just a prisoner to your own emotions. do you really think that when you're old, and have a loving and happy family, you're still going to be worrying about the same things? for me at least, the only thing i'll regret is how much time i wasted moping about the things i couldn't change, feeling jealous about another person or bitter about something i couldn't have. the most you can do with negative situations and people is to learn from it and move the fuck on.