I don't wanna work at Girl Scout Camp,
HOLY SHIT IT'S OVER! So what if I chose to work there. Camp Kateri, though I love it dearly, has just become one of those "character-building" jobs that will mark itself in my memory as a rather... intense experience. But despite the bullshit, my last week was wonderful, no doubt, and will come with pictures, no doubt in the next couple days.
But let me reveal the utter irony of what I'm about to tell you: the morning that I should've been at orientation I was grooming Rain, the palomino pony, when the barn phone rang. "PAISLEY! You're not busy, answer the phone!" So I did, and it was Tia from the GS Council office. "Suzanne? Wow! Just the person I wanted to speak with. Okay, so I called the barn because I was hoping you'd be around to give me your contact information, because it's the last day that the magazine gave me to get it. Yeah-- Skirt! magazine wants you to be featured in their Girl Power section, so next week they will call you up to schedule an interview and photoshoot. Sound good? Okay, great! They'll call you on Monday. Thanks!"
Skirt!-fucking-magazine! Not only does everyone's mom read it, but everyone's mom in Florida, too. When I asked Donna why Girl Scouts chose me to be in it, she started saying how I was an inspiration to young girls what with my article in Bridges and the rap group and my status as camp counselor. Seriously, WTF. Didn't they make a big deal about not hiring me two months ago after finding out that I sneaked out of camp? To prove to you the irony in what I've just shared, let me tell you everything I've been able to do at Girl Scout Camp. Because good role models have:
-Made late-night calls to boys at Girl Scout Camp
-Run naked at Girl Scout Camp (okay, I left my towel in my tent and nobody was around, but really, it was out in the open)
-Gone skinny-dipping at Girl Scout Camp
-Helped create a Burn Book a-la-Mean Girls about the uber-mean waterfront lesbian couple known as BREEzore at Girl Scout Camp
-Learned how to booty-dance correctly from the "low-income" (code name for black) girls at Girl Scout Camp
-Smoked at Girl Scout Camp
-Made the record for amount of visits to Shalom at Girl Scout Camp-- 5 times
-Stole Girl Scout cookies to take to Camp Shalom boys at Girl Scout Camp
-Wrote my camp name all over the barn at Girl Scout Camp
-Broke curfew at Girl Scout Camp
-Was in a car that got pulled over by the Fuzz for going 80 MPH at 1 AM-- only 2 miles from Girl Scout Camp
-Raided the kitchen at 4 AM at Girl Scout Camp
-Told my twelve-year-old Puerto Rican twin Elycia that sitting on the sink, breaking it and then signing it at Treehouses was fucking punk rock-- at Girl Scout Camp
-Made friends for life at Girl Scout Camp-- I mean seriously, who ever even cares to talk to coworkers outside of work?
And Sweet Jesus, I'm so exhausted from it all.
But let me reveal the utter irony of what I'm about to tell you: the morning that I should've been at orientation I was grooming Rain, the palomino pony, when the barn phone rang. "PAISLEY! You're not busy, answer the phone!" So I did, and it was Tia from the GS Council office. "Suzanne? Wow! Just the person I wanted to speak with. Okay, so I called the barn because I was hoping you'd be around to give me your contact information, because it's the last day that the magazine gave me to get it. Yeah-- Skirt! magazine wants you to be featured in their Girl Power section, so next week they will call you up to schedule an interview and photoshoot. Sound good? Okay, great! They'll call you on Monday. Thanks!"
Skirt!-fucking-magazine! Not only does everyone's mom read it, but everyone's mom in Florida, too. When I asked Donna why Girl Scouts chose me to be in it, she started saying how I was an inspiration to young girls what with my article in Bridges and the rap group and my status as camp counselor. Seriously, WTF. Didn't they make a big deal about not hiring me two months ago after finding out that I sneaked out of camp? To prove to you the irony in what I've just shared, let me tell you everything I've been able to do at Girl Scout Camp. Because good role models have:
-Made late-night calls to boys at Girl Scout Camp
-Run naked at Girl Scout Camp (okay, I left my towel in my tent and nobody was around, but really, it was out in the open)
-Gone skinny-dipping at Girl Scout Camp
-Helped create a Burn Book a-la-Mean Girls about the uber-mean waterfront lesbian couple known as BREEzore at Girl Scout Camp
-Learned how to booty-dance correctly from the "low-income" (code name for black) girls at Girl Scout Camp
-Smoked at Girl Scout Camp
-Made the record for amount of visits to Shalom at Girl Scout Camp-- 5 times
-Stole Girl Scout cookies to take to Camp Shalom boys at Girl Scout Camp
-Wrote my camp name all over the barn at Girl Scout Camp
-Broke curfew at Girl Scout Camp
-Was in a car that got pulled over by the Fuzz for going 80 MPH at 1 AM-- only 2 miles from Girl Scout Camp
-Raided the kitchen at 4 AM at Girl Scout Camp
-Told my twelve-year-old Puerto Rican twin Elycia that sitting on the sink, breaking it and then signing it at Treehouses was fucking punk rock-- at Girl Scout Camp
-Made friends for life at Girl Scout Camp-- I mean seriously, who ever even cares to talk to coworkers outside of work?
And Sweet Jesus, I'm so exhausted from it all.