bum bum bum!
you know.. not getting in chi O is hitting me a lot harder than i thought. i guess for some reason i just feel like i wasnt good enough, or something is wrong with me or something. i guess i was looking forward to that family feel so much, and now i just feel like im not cool enough or something. i dont think i have ever felt like this.. and i know i shouldnt because some of the people i met still wanna hang out with me so.. i dunno. tonight made it better, i went and hung out with clay and levi, two cool guys i met at orientation.. while there the guys across the hall came over, there were 4 of them so i met all of them then i met 2 other guys that came by... so i guess i feel better now that i am making friends. one of the guys i met tonight is in my tennis class so that is cool too. i guess im just really nervous, im sure it is nothing but my expectations of college and of me are so high and i feel as if i have already failed. im sure in a few weeks from now, i will feel so much better about everything. i will be exercising and making friends, hopefully working and joining different organizations. i just need to set my mind straight, but i just feel like a failure. i wish i could stop it.. but it is just hard. i shouldnt take it personally, but i do. well, time to lay down. class tomorrow! will update tomorrow =)