Amazing impact
Wow, this week has had an amazing impact on me. It's made me realize all the things I've taken for granted. Big things, and little things. Like the simple sight of a baby's smile, or the beauty of a single person. Like the simple touch of soft skin, or smooth hair. Like the look in someone's eyes. Like the sound of them breathing. Like the simple sign of affection through a hug, or a pat on the shoulder. Like the sound of a passionate voice, of a loving and caring voice. Like the words 'I love you'. Like life in general.
Two days ago Baby Saige passed away. Remember when I went down to Indy to see Saige and Ali? Well she passed away. I didn't even know Saige, but I can't believe how much I loved her. I feel for Ali so much. She never got to see her walk, or hear her talk, or hear the words 'I love you, Mom' come out of her mouth. I can't imagine what things must be like for her. I wish I could have held Saige before she died. I wish I could have told her I loved her. I never knew how much I cared about Ali either. I realized that she was always there for me. When I used to cut, she always was there to talk to. Saige wasn't supposed to die. She was supposed to be the miracle baby, she wasn't supposed to leave us like that. I don't understand.. I just held her last week. I just saw her smile. She looked so happy.. so healthy. I wish there was something I could have done to save Ali's baby. Maybe someday we'll all find out why God took her so soon. She was only 2 months old, what possibly could have been her purpose? What did she fulfill in life? She was in the freaking hospital the whole time! How could he take her from Ali... From all of us.
I realize that my problems I face are nothing compared to loosing a baby. I know now that there are worse things in life then a broken heart. If I cry so hard over a broken heart, how much has Ali cried over her baby's death. God this is not fair.
Two days ago Baby Saige passed away. Remember when I went down to Indy to see Saige and Ali? Well she passed away. I didn't even know Saige, but I can't believe how much I loved her. I feel for Ali so much. She never got to see her walk, or hear her talk, or hear the words 'I love you, Mom' come out of her mouth. I can't imagine what things must be like for her. I wish I could have held Saige before she died. I wish I could have told her I loved her. I never knew how much I cared about Ali either. I realized that she was always there for me. When I used to cut, she always was there to talk to. Saige wasn't supposed to die. She was supposed to be the miracle baby, she wasn't supposed to leave us like that. I don't understand.. I just held her last week. I just saw her smile. She looked so happy.. so healthy. I wish there was something I could have done to save Ali's baby. Maybe someday we'll all find out why God took her so soon. She was only 2 months old, what possibly could have been her purpose? What did she fulfill in life? She was in the freaking hospital the whole time! How could he take her from Ali... From all of us.
I realize that my problems I face are nothing compared to loosing a baby. I know now that there are worse things in life then a broken heart. If I cry so hard over a broken heart, how much has Ali cried over her baby's death. God this is not fair.