I don't know where I'm going
If someone were to ask me where I'm going in my life I wouldn't have an answer. A lot of kids have dreams of being famous or goals of having some job but I never have. If you were to ask me where I'll be in 5 years I couldn't answer that either. I have no idea and the reason for that is? I don't plan on being here. I don't have ideas for the future because I don't want a future. It's not really a way to live life but hey it's what I do. The thought of the future always scared me growing up and now that I'm a little older I'm even more scared. You want to know my one real goal in life if I have to live? To be rich. Not because I want things that badly but because having money makes life a whole lot easier. Never having to think about money would be like perfect. Wouldn't everyone just feel so free if there was no such thing as money? Money is always going to be around though and so the other alternative to having no money at all is to have lots of it. Maybe my logic is flawed and maybe I'm lying to my self and I'm just a materialistic girl but I like to think otherwise. You know my one goal for myself right now? To make it through the first week of school alive and well happy. That is a lot easier said than done. I may be alive but I doubt I'll be happy. The first day of school keeps getting closer and closer and I try to think about it less and less. I'm going to be a senior and well that means that I'm going to have to think about my future sometimes soon. The future scares me because I don't want my life to continue being as painful as it is now. I've been thinking my life will get better for the past 3 or 4 years and well it hasn't yet. What if it never does?