(no subject)
Ladies, gents. It's 5:15 pm and do you know where your puppets are?
That's right, my basement. So cough up the money.
We here at Sockpuppets pride ourselves on our up to the minute, accurate, on time and consistent reporting. We also pride ourselves on that great lsd and creamer stuff we invented for our coffee so you may be noticing a connection by this point.
Our intrepid reporters have stopped staring at 'all the pretty colours' for now and have decided to give you a full-length, indepth news report. But the list didn't go past 'skip 50' so that's all you're getting. It isn't like you pay us.
Our beloved newsthingie turned 18 last saturday and instead of giving her a nice post like she did the editor, we actually fed her! Go wish her a belated birthday.
Starting from oldest and working up.
Artamir weeps like a woman. Gorlim is a twat and Ondoher is cruel to Faramir, which while traditional for anything that bears that name really should be exempt in this case because omg, he's such a cutie.
Editor note: Suspect headliner Gaav may be a poofter. Will have to curtail in fear of mpreg.
Arvedui is not 'down' with the women rulers. Luthien, in a show of uncharacteristic self-restraint (THAT IS A SUBTLE HINT, WOMAN. ohgodwhywon'titheal) does not smite his ass to Ethring.
Look. A hobbit.. We here at Sockpuppets must confess that we have a hereditary illness where we can't read third person. This will be even more important later. We THINK there may be construction going on.
Hild is a strumpet. Also, she knows her son is dead but she's got a nice pair so let's focus on that instead.
Kevin's got groupies. Eru knows *I* want some of that troll for my ca---We here at Sockpuppets are just going to skip to the next headline.
Gorlim is back. All hope is lost. Make peace with your gods. PS: Ulmo's offering a discount on sacrifices this week. Twice the blessings for half the goat.
Italics and third person. AHaha. No.
Faramir is not allowed to go out and fight. GOOD. He can stay here, with us. We have candy, little boy...
Eomer's lost. You know, he's part woman. You'd think he'd just ask for directions...
Wulf doesn't want no horsefuckers. Oh, if only he were a blond and then he wouldn't be so low that we could bring ourselves to mock him.
Nadiyah gets wet and soapy with Halbarad, Theodred and Mithrovan, coming soon to Long and Arda Productions.
Two more and she wins a toaster.
Hanild apologizes. But no one *really* forgives her. They just say they do.
Theo visits Jade and Opal. Still dead.
Eomer is resurrected. Oh Joy and unfettered glee.
Does this look first person to you? I did not think so. Uh, Jade's in here too.
Arvedui holds a funeral for Theo. No causalities are as yet reported.
Say hi to Nabhan, kids.
In a series of wacky events, Seven becomes a midget.
Eomund is a fashion plate.
There's a lot of comments here and I bet if I wait there'll be a huge summary post from Bingo. He's so nice.
Third person *and* an elf. Dear god. Is there no decency in the world?
The Watcher in the Water is a breath-holding STUD. At least that’s what these ‘traditional’ art pieces from Rhun/Easterlingland say.
I wonder what a simbelmyne is.
random stuff.
It’s Sackville season.
Etchelion is Santa! Or that scary old man down the street who offers us candy. One of those.
Ungoliant has a hankering. A hankering for EVIL.
Silmo’s back and Tilion is still a miserable failure who shames his pantheon. Shames it.
Vanyon remembered his password. Er, we mean, gives an insightful post to his activities. Yes.
We think Aule did something wrong. Couch for you, sucka.
Iorlas has been sold to large, sweaty burly men. The promise of sex stirs him to freedom! Or perhaps the threat of sex. One never knows.
Uruviel is probably going to eat the baby.
You know the drill. Third person. But hey, I’ll be nice and tell you there’s a spider in it.
Slowly the intrepid reporter backed away from the notepad, realizing that only hellishness and metaphor could be found in this godforsaken post.
Make it end.
YOU HATE ME. I CAN TELL.
Theoden isn’t dead anymore. Joy and unfettered, glee. Something. The chase on Vanthene is called off which is okay since evil needs some downtime. Which is why our breaks are always so long. Really.
We here at Sockpuppets approve of Nabhan and his accidental use of the phrase ‘I is not here to fight’.
Next verse, same as the first.
Run, you fool. Celebel has the bad touch.
Jade asks what we are all asking. Except those of us who aren’t asking that.
I’ve run out of funny ways to go ‘oh look. third person’.
Rumil is sumptious. Or is he a dirty commie plot. Time will tell, my friend. Time will tell.
The midget has found her flock. Soon the migration will begin.
Hani tries to seduce Theo. The strumpet.
Theo has got no boobs. A sad day indeed for...someone. We here at Sockpuppets don’t know.
I’m gonna describe this one cause it’s short and there’s a baby. Firi is feeling the woe. The end.
Gamgee angst. Like a fine wine.
Neither of second nor fourth person born.
Hanild learns the dangers of mixing your rohirrim and your drugs. That or she’s making cheap excuses for her TIMELESS PASSION THAT WILL SCOUR THE AGES. or something like that. We’re reading off a romance novel that we found. Oooh. Scenes as if from a post concerning Firiel!
I think they’re mocking my stories.
The bitch is back.
Aww. Puppies. And uh, other stuff. LOOK FIRST PERSON.
There are no puppies here. Only death ;_;
Arvedui is a wussy man. You shame your line. Seppuku! And give us the shiny rock. For uh. safekeeping.
I told you he’d summarize. But did you listen to me? Nooooooo.
Give us the palantir. We can smell your spicy brains.
Apparently Iorlas can’t even get hookers.
Italicy-third person. What did I ever do to you? Your dog doesn’t count.
Pictures. Lots of...pictures. With pixels. And Arvedui making out with a horse.
TWO BABIES GO IN. ONE BABY GOES OUT.
We know where you live.
Damnit. The bitch line’s been used.
There is a promise not to think incestuous thoughts somewhere in here. Our interest is totally lost.
Us.
We’ll be eating hobbit and tuna tonight, boys.
Elves don’t get no respect. For a good reason.
Hobbit! It doesn’t look happy. Do they ever?
I shall now start calling Third Person ‘Bibi’ Look! Bibi’s posting. That seems so much nicer.
A man and his mongoose are soon parted. And then molested by a sister-in-law.
Gorlim’s still dead but no longer fraternizing with Bibi.
Hani’s feeling the woe. Also, the sun’s back.
Firi doesn’t really love ANYBODY.
Bibi brought biscuits.
The boobs are back. The editor is currently danging from a noose above our keyboard.
NO BABY. A cry we must all take up! Except for when we have really cute baby pictures. Such a thin line.
Her story is just laying about.
A cat ate Bibi.
Single Red Dragon seeks hobbithole. Inquire within.
Show us on the doll...
Firi shows her lack of love. His heart broken, Arvedui hands over the palantir, which would revolutionize the art of paparazzi stalking forever. Hint.
Araphant wants man-love.
Ilmare is forgetful, but shiny. Tilion is explodey.
Irmo’s bedhair is the sexiest of bedhairs.
-Editor-in-non-absentia.
That's right, my basement. So cough up the money.
We here at Sockpuppets pride ourselves on our up to the minute, accurate, on time and consistent reporting. We also pride ourselves on that great lsd and creamer stuff we invented for our coffee so you may be noticing a connection by this point.
Our intrepid reporters have stopped staring at 'all the pretty colours' for now and have decided to give you a full-length, indepth news report. But the list didn't go past 'skip 50' so that's all you're getting. It isn't like you pay us.
Our beloved newsthingie turned 18 last saturday and instead of giving her a nice post like she did the editor, we actually fed her! Go wish her a belated birthday.
Starting from oldest and working up.
Artamir weeps like a woman. Gorlim is a twat and Ondoher is cruel to Faramir, which while traditional for anything that bears that name really should be exempt in this case because omg, he's such a cutie.
Editor note: Suspect headliner Gaav may be a poofter. Will have to curtail in fear of mpreg.
Arvedui is not 'down' with the women rulers. Luthien, in a show of uncharacteristic self-restraint (THAT IS A SUBTLE HINT, WOMAN. ohgodwhywon'titheal) does not smite his ass to Ethring.
Look. A hobbit.. We here at Sockpuppets must confess that we have a hereditary illness where we can't read third person. This will be even more important later. We THINK there may be construction going on.
Hild is a strumpet. Also, she knows her son is dead but she's got a nice pair so let's focus on that instead.
Kevin's got groupies. Eru knows *I* want some of that troll for my ca---We here at Sockpuppets are just going to skip to the next headline.
Gorlim is back. All hope is lost. Make peace with your gods. PS: Ulmo's offering a discount on sacrifices this week. Twice the blessings for half the goat.
Italics and third person. AHaha. No.
Faramir is not allowed to go out and fight. GOOD. He can stay here, with us. We have candy, little boy...
Eomer's lost. You know, he's part woman. You'd think he'd just ask for directions...
Wulf doesn't want no horsefuckers. Oh, if only he were a blond and then he wouldn't be so low that we could bring ourselves to mock him.
Nadiyah gets wet and soapy with Halbarad, Theodred and Mithrovan, coming soon to Long and Arda Productions.
Two more and she wins a toaster.
Hanild apologizes. But no one *really* forgives her. They just say they do.
Theo visits Jade and Opal. Still dead.
Eomer is resurrected. Oh Joy and unfettered glee.
Does this look first person to you? I did not think so. Uh, Jade's in here too.
Arvedui holds a funeral for Theo. No causalities are as yet reported.
Say hi to Nabhan, kids.
In a series of wacky events, Seven becomes a midget.
Eomund is a fashion plate.
There's a lot of comments here and I bet if I wait there'll be a huge summary post from Bingo. He's so nice.
Third person *and* an elf. Dear god. Is there no decency in the world?
The Watcher in the Water is a breath-holding STUD. At least that’s what these ‘traditional’ art pieces from Rhun/Easterlingland say.
I wonder what a simbelmyne is.
random stuff.
It’s Sackville season.
Etchelion is Santa! Or that scary old man down the street who offers us candy. One of those.
Ungoliant has a hankering. A hankering for EVIL.
Silmo’s back and Tilion is still a miserable failure who shames his pantheon. Shames it.
Vanyon remembered his password. Er, we mean, gives an insightful post to his activities. Yes.
We think Aule did something wrong. Couch for you, sucka.
Iorlas has been sold to large, sweaty burly men. The promise of sex stirs him to freedom! Or perhaps the threat of sex. One never knows.
Uruviel is probably going to eat the baby.
You know the drill. Third person. But hey, I’ll be nice and tell you there’s a spider in it.
Slowly the intrepid reporter backed away from the notepad, realizing that only hellishness and metaphor could be found in this godforsaken post.
Make it end.
YOU HATE ME. I CAN TELL.
Theoden isn’t dead anymore. Joy and unfettered, glee. Something. The chase on Vanthene is called off which is okay since evil needs some downtime. Which is why our breaks are always so long. Really.
We here at Sockpuppets approve of Nabhan and his accidental use of the phrase ‘I is not here to fight’.
Next verse, same as the first.
Run, you fool. Celebel has the bad touch.
Jade asks what we are all asking. Except those of us who aren’t asking that.
I’ve run out of funny ways to go ‘oh look. third person’.
Rumil is sumptious. Or is he a dirty commie plot. Time will tell, my friend. Time will tell.
The midget has found her flock. Soon the migration will begin.
Hani tries to seduce Theo. The strumpet.
Theo has got no boobs. A sad day indeed for...someone. We here at Sockpuppets don’t know.
I’m gonna describe this one cause it’s short and there’s a baby. Firi is feeling the woe. The end.
Gamgee angst. Like a fine wine.
Neither of second nor fourth person born.
Hanild learns the dangers of mixing your rohirrim and your drugs. That or she’s making cheap excuses for her TIMELESS PASSION THAT WILL SCOUR THE AGES. or something like that. We’re reading off a romance novel that we found. Oooh. Scenes as if from a post concerning Firiel!
I think they’re mocking my stories.
The bitch is back.
Aww. Puppies. And uh, other stuff. LOOK FIRST PERSON.
There are no puppies here. Only death ;_;
Arvedui is a wussy man. You shame your line. Seppuku! And give us the shiny rock. For uh. safekeeping.
I told you he’d summarize. But did you listen to me? Nooooooo.
Give us the palantir. We can smell your spicy brains.
Apparently Iorlas can’t even get hookers.
Italicy-third person. What did I ever do to you? Your dog doesn’t count.
Pictures. Lots of...pictures. With pixels. And Arvedui making out with a horse.
TWO BABIES GO IN. ONE BABY GOES OUT.
We know where you live.
Damnit. The bitch line’s been used.
There is a promise not to think incestuous thoughts somewhere in here. Our interest is totally lost.
Us.
We’ll be eating hobbit and tuna tonight, boys.
Elves don’t get no respect. For a good reason.
Hobbit! It doesn’t look happy. Do they ever?
I shall now start calling Third Person ‘Bibi’ Look! Bibi’s posting. That seems so much nicer.
A man and his mongoose are soon parted. And then molested by a sister-in-law.
Gorlim’s still dead but no longer fraternizing with Bibi.
Hani’s feeling the woe. Also, the sun’s back.
Firi doesn’t really love ANYBODY.
Bibi brought biscuits.
The boobs are back. The editor is currently danging from a noose above our keyboard.
NO BABY. A cry we must all take up! Except for when we have really cute baby pictures. Such a thin line.
Her story is just laying about.
A cat ate Bibi.
Single Red Dragon seeks hobbithole. Inquire within.
Show us on the doll...
Firi shows her lack of love. His heart broken, Arvedui hands over the palantir, which would revolutionize the art of paparazzi stalking forever. Hint.
Araphant wants man-love.
Ilmare is forgetful, but shiny. Tilion is explodey.
Irmo’s bedhair is the sexiest of bedhairs.
-Editor-in-non-absentia.