(no subject)
I was hoping for some guidence from all you mysterious faces of the internet, but it didn't work out that way. It's too late now. I've gone and started all over again.
Just when I was getting used to being single...
Single didn't really start until I got here. I mean, I was single before, but what fucking difference did it make? There was the Amy at the service desk, but I only saw her twice a month, and that was if I was lucky.
So, Rosie is a fascenating girl who smells like coffee and lives in the library. On Friday, she told me she liked me, to which I was non-commital. I felt like if I were to be her first boyfriend, I could only do harm. I mentioned this a couple of times (not in those words, but expressing a fear of hurting people), and she assured me that if I didn't feel the same way about her, she'd be okay. After all, she professed her love to Matt last year on three separate occastions, and made it through okay.
After that, I took her hand and we walked. There have been several occasions in which I've wanted to kiss her, but chose not to because a dorm is a stupid place to kiss someone for the first time.
Well, anyway, I accidentally kissed her outside her room Sunday night. Blame lack of sleep, blame the moon, but I totally surprised us both. I mean, I really didn't mean to. She said she wasn't expecting it, and just sort of looked puzzled for a moment, then she asked for a do-over.
Finally, I left down the hall, and she went inside. I was kicking myself for picking a foolish time and place, but I heard the room next door begin to flutter. Michelle and Lindsay and Ashley excitedly talking about Rosie getting kissed.
"She juct came in a collapsed on my floor..."
"Ohmigod, you're first boyfriend"
Truth is, she didn't seem to enjoy kissing me. She said I was slimy. But, today she said she'd get used to it.
I wish I could experience the whole world outside myself like she does.
So much for my resolution of not chasing women. This whole think kind of snuck up on me. I could think of a lot of ways ot justify it as some noble quality, but there's almost no chance for me to make the first move in a relationship. I've always needed someone or something to push me off the ledge. I've never regretted getting that push, it's always led to long, fruitful relationships, but... hey, no one likes rejection.
The Stoics believe happiness comes in accepting the inevitable. Rosie expected me to say, "sorry, but I just don't feel that way about you." Maybe that's why she's able to do the things she does.
I have class in four hours. I should go.
Just when I was getting used to being single...
Single didn't really start until I got here. I mean, I was single before, but what fucking difference did it make? There was the Amy at the service desk, but I only saw her twice a month, and that was if I was lucky.
So, Rosie is a fascenating girl who smells like coffee and lives in the library. On Friday, she told me she liked me, to which I was non-commital. I felt like if I were to be her first boyfriend, I could only do harm. I mentioned this a couple of times (not in those words, but expressing a fear of hurting people), and she assured me that if I didn't feel the same way about her, she'd be okay. After all, she professed her love to Matt last year on three separate occastions, and made it through okay.
After that, I took her hand and we walked. There have been several occasions in which I've wanted to kiss her, but chose not to because a dorm is a stupid place to kiss someone for the first time.
Well, anyway, I accidentally kissed her outside her room Sunday night. Blame lack of sleep, blame the moon, but I totally surprised us both. I mean, I really didn't mean to. She said she wasn't expecting it, and just sort of looked puzzled for a moment, then she asked for a do-over.
Finally, I left down the hall, and she went inside. I was kicking myself for picking a foolish time and place, but I heard the room next door begin to flutter. Michelle and Lindsay and Ashley excitedly talking about Rosie getting kissed.
"She juct came in a collapsed on my floor..."
"Ohmigod, you're first boyfriend"
Truth is, she didn't seem to enjoy kissing me. She said I was slimy. But, today she said she'd get used to it.
I wish I could experience the whole world outside myself like she does.
So much for my resolution of not chasing women. This whole think kind of snuck up on me. I could think of a lot of ways ot justify it as some noble quality, but there's almost no chance for me to make the first move in a relationship. I've always needed someone or something to push me off the ledge. I've never regretted getting that push, it's always led to long, fruitful relationships, but... hey, no one likes rejection.
The Stoics believe happiness comes in accepting the inevitable. Rosie expected me to say, "sorry, but I just don't feel that way about you." Maybe that's why she's able to do the things she does.
I have class in four hours. I should go.