The Twelve Days of Dark Angel Christmas
Whoa, whoa, whoa... what is this? I JUST NOW FOUND THIS IN AN OLD NOTEBOOK, RIGHT AT THE PERFECT TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS! found this in an old notebook awhile back and was waiting for a seasonally appropriate time to post it. I wrote this in eleventh grade... I think? Anyway... the guts were written then, and then I embellished a bit. Most of the intro is new, as well as all of the coda.
ENJOY!
Title: The Twelve Days of Dark Angel Christmas
Fandom: Dark Angel
Rating/Warnings: G
Characters: Mole, Zack, Max, Syl, Krit, Original Cindy, Alec, Lydecker, all the other transgenics but I didn't mention them.
Word Count: 955
Disclaimer: I disclaim it!
Summary: It's The Twelve Days of Christmas, with the lyrics changed for all your Manticore needs.
It was an interesting place for a motley group of transgenics to gather. They stood in a snowy park, posing as normal, human Christmas carolers... Who happened to have a fair chunk of animal DNA in their genetic code, but other than that, perfectly normal. Zack was passing out candy canes to passers-by just as they finished a charming rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".
"And heeeeeee'llllll gooooooo dooooowwwnnnn in hiiiiiisssstoooooorrrreeeeeeeeeee!" belted out several X8s, ridiculously off-key.
"Like James Cameron!" Alec shouted. Max glared at him. Zack threw a candy cane at his head, nearly knocking off his festive antler headband. "I'm a reindeer, Max!" he had declared when he put it on, grinning like an idiot. "Reindeer can fly and they invented Christmas."
"They did not," Max started to protest, but Alec was already off trying to see if he could find one of those flashing, red noses that Krit had.
This had all been Mole's idea. "We should try to connect with the community," he'd said. "Then all those miserable humans will hate us less and stop setting us on fire." So now most of the residents of Terminal City were singing. Those with cat ears were trying to pass them off as elf ears, and most of them were wearing ridiculous shoes with bells on them. Mole was dressed as a lizard Santa Claus and competing against Zack (who was also Santa) for who had the better belly laugh "ho, ho, ho."
Max sighed. At least Lydecker wasn't dressed as Santa. He was over by a card table that had been set up with a large thermos of apple cider, and was passing out glasses to the growing crowd.
"Now what Christmas classic are y'all gonna destro--I mean sing?" asked Original Cindy. She was sitting on a park bench, gesturing with a half-eaten candy cane. "I can't wait to hear more!" There might've been a note of sarcasm somewhere in her voice. Maybe.
"How about the Twelve Days of Christmas," Alec suggested.
"Sure. Do any of you grunts know the words?" asked Syl.
Everyone looked around at one another somewhat helplessly. "I know the wor--" Original Cindy started, raising her hand before she was shushed by Krit.
"Do any transgenics know the words?" he demanded.
"I think I can wing it," said Mole, adjusting his Santa hat. "Just follow my lead everyone!"
And so the transgenics began to sing:
On the first day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
A barcode removal kit.
One the second day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
One the third day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the forth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the fifth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the sixth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the seventh day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the eighth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the ninth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the tenth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Ten of my clones
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Eleven PsyOps weirdos
Ten of my clones
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Twelve X5s in heat
Eleven PsyOps weirdos
Ten of my clones
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kiiit.
The crowd erupted half with cheers and the other half booing and shouting obscenities about the transgenic menace. "Hey," said Mole with a grin, "that went over pretty well considering it was the first song I ever wrote."
Someone threw a glass of cider into the group of the transgenics prompting several others to follow suit.
"Thank you! Thank you!" said Mole. "We are now taking requests! Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!"
"Goddamn it!" shouted Zack. "I'm Santa you lizard-faced freak!" He leaped at Mole and ripped the stogy from his mouth before punching him in the cheek.
"YEAH!" the X8s cheered, gathering around to watch the Santa fight. They bounced on their heals with excitment.
"I guess that leaves it to us to entertain the rest of these nice people," said Alec, nudging Max with his elbow. "Who remembers the lyrics to 'Jingle Bells'?"
THE END.
ENJOY!
Title: The Twelve Days of Dark Angel Christmas
Fandom: Dark Angel
Rating/Warnings: G
Characters: Mole, Zack, Max, Syl, Krit, Original Cindy, Alec, Lydecker, all the other transgenics but I didn't mention them.
Word Count: 955
Disclaimer: I disclaim it!
Summary: It's The Twelve Days of Christmas, with the lyrics changed for all your Manticore needs.
It was an interesting place for a motley group of transgenics to gather. They stood in a snowy park, posing as normal, human Christmas carolers... Who happened to have a fair chunk of animal DNA in their genetic code, but other than that, perfectly normal. Zack was passing out candy canes to passers-by just as they finished a charming rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".
"And heeeeeee'llllll gooooooo dooooowwwnnnn in hiiiiiisssstoooooorrrreeeeeeeeeee!" belted out several X8s, ridiculously off-key.
"Like James Cameron!" Alec shouted. Max glared at him. Zack threw a candy cane at his head, nearly knocking off his festive antler headband. "I'm a reindeer, Max!" he had declared when he put it on, grinning like an idiot. "Reindeer can fly and they invented Christmas."
"They did not," Max started to protest, but Alec was already off trying to see if he could find one of those flashing, red noses that Krit had.
This had all been Mole's idea. "We should try to connect with the community," he'd said. "Then all those miserable humans will hate us less and stop setting us on fire." So now most of the residents of Terminal City were singing. Those with cat ears were trying to pass them off as elf ears, and most of them were wearing ridiculous shoes with bells on them. Mole was dressed as a lizard Santa Claus and competing against Zack (who was also Santa) for who had the better belly laugh "ho, ho, ho."
Max sighed. At least Lydecker wasn't dressed as Santa. He was over by a card table that had been set up with a large thermos of apple cider, and was passing out glasses to the growing crowd.
"Now what Christmas classic are y'all gonna destro--I mean sing?" asked Original Cindy. She was sitting on a park bench, gesturing with a half-eaten candy cane. "I can't wait to hear more!" There might've been a note of sarcasm somewhere in her voice. Maybe.
"How about the Twelve Days of Christmas," Alec suggested.
"Sure. Do any of you grunts know the words?" asked Syl.
Everyone looked around at one another somewhat helplessly. "I know the wor--" Original Cindy started, raising her hand before she was shushed by Krit.
"Do any transgenics know the words?" he demanded.
"I think I can wing it," said Mole, adjusting his Santa hat. "Just follow my lead everyone!"
And so the transgenics began to sing:
On the first day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
A barcode removal kit.
One the second day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
One the third day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the forth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the fifth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the sixth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the seventh day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the eighth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation Flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the ninth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the tenth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Ten of my clones
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Eleven PsyOps weirdos
Ten of my clones
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kit.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my CO gave to meee....
Twelve X5s in heat
Eleven PsyOps weirdos
Ten of my clones
Nine hover drones
Eight Minoan runes
Seven bipping Normals
Six X7 bat kids
Five cyber journalists!
Four extra rations
Three Freak Nation flags
Two X2 nomlies
And a barcode removal kiiit.
The crowd erupted half with cheers and the other half booing and shouting obscenities about the transgenic menace. "Hey," said Mole with a grin, "that went over pretty well considering it was the first song I ever wrote."
Someone threw a glass of cider into the group of the transgenics prompting several others to follow suit.
"Thank you! Thank you!" said Mole. "We are now taking requests! Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all, and to all a good night!"
"Goddamn it!" shouted Zack. "I'm Santa you lizard-faced freak!" He leaped at Mole and ripped the stogy from his mouth before punching him in the cheek.
"YEAH!" the X8s cheered, gathering around to watch the Santa fight. They bounced on their heals with excitment.
"I guess that leaves it to us to entertain the rest of these nice people," said Alec, nudging Max with his elbow. "Who remembers the lyrics to 'Jingle Bells'?"
THE END.