"Ten Things I Hate About Mattie" by Mike Prostko

[societyfails]

10. u cant cook as well as me
9. u can drink me under the table
8. if i raced u in the same car, it would be a close race
7. u didnt have my boxers clean and dry the other night
6. u smell tasty 99% of the time and make me want to eat u up
5. u are almost as smart as me
4. your eyes make me lose my train of thought
3. drunk mattie likes me more than sober mattie
2. u duped me into promising id wash fancy
1. **explicit**