(no subject)
an odd, odd season so far. i've become a vegetarian recently. it's always so difficult to write in here.
today--thanksgiving--i worked 9am-3pm. and then i did nothing. no family gathering and no big dinner. i made myself some rice and drank iced green tea. that's it. my appetite has thankfully diminished as of late.
i am really lost lately. back in therapy. i don't think it's going to help--i only want the medication. country going to hell; i question whether DK will really be able to do something with CSH to counter the fundies. CS drove to Virginia to see DK and had a remarkable trip--perhaps a bad one--and she could have driven here in half the time with $200 to spend the long weekend with me in MA.
i think i am doing terribly this semester. i think i am just going to go to another college. or send my resume around and maybe work for a bit. who knows. maybe i should move? just move away somewhere and not tell anyone where i am--and keep my phone number contact information private. i feel so useless and unaccomplished. so wasted and wasteful. i do nothing important. i'm a fucking idiot!
and now my stalls are being torn down and most of my friends are pieces of shit and most people are out to get me, undermine me, render me powerless.
stacy tells me i have a lot of political capital for my age--but i really disagree. i feel powerless, out-of-touch and weak. i'm isolated and pathetic on the board.
i have to begin christmas shopping tomorrow. i don't know who to buy for. i don't know who my friends are--i don't know which family members i love.
today--thanksgiving--i worked 9am-3pm. and then i did nothing. no family gathering and no big dinner. i made myself some rice and drank iced green tea. that's it. my appetite has thankfully diminished as of late.
i am really lost lately. back in therapy. i don't think it's going to help--i only want the medication. country going to hell; i question whether DK will really be able to do something with CSH to counter the fundies. CS drove to Virginia to see DK and had a remarkable trip--perhaps a bad one--and she could have driven here in half the time with $200 to spend the long weekend with me in MA.
i think i am doing terribly this semester. i think i am just going to go to another college. or send my resume around and maybe work for a bit. who knows. maybe i should move? just move away somewhere and not tell anyone where i am--and keep my phone number contact information private. i feel so useless and unaccomplished. so wasted and wasteful. i do nothing important. i'm a fucking idiot!
and now my stalls are being torn down and most of my friends are pieces of shit and most people are out to get me, undermine me, render me powerless.
stacy tells me i have a lot of political capital for my age--but i really disagree. i feel powerless, out-of-touch and weak. i'm isolated and pathetic on the board.
i have to begin christmas shopping tomorrow. i don't know who to buy for. i don't know who my friends are--i don't know which family members i love.