(no subject)
i've been crying for the past half hour now or so, i've sorta lost track of time. i just can't take it anymore. walksing around withj a jsmile on when in reality i hate pretty much all of my life, except for my music. but it seems that even my music has been disapointing me these days. all of my friends have slowly left me over the years and everytime i make a new one, they leave. brittany became a potsmoker. megan moved. alyssa became a slut. tom turned out to be an ass. kristen became an airhead and now even my online friends are leaving, i mean, i never get comments on here any more and sammi is leaving the country in a couple months. i just wish i could go back in time when i had everyone everything. i just have no friends right now. there's no one who relates to me or gets me around here. this world is just so full of jerks, including my family-for whom i can blame for this tear fest. i just so badly want it all back. the great friends. the great body. guys actually looking at me for all the right reasons. somehow i know i love my life, but i'm just so disappointed with it. I keep telling everyone that i can't wait until highschool, i can't wait until highschool and the reason is that there will be so many new people. so maybe, hopefully, i MUST find that one true bestfriend that's out there for me and can comfort me during moments like these. the thing that bugs me the most is that i had all of these things and i lost them. I blame mostly alyssa for that, but that's another story. and you know, it's one thing to want something you've never had, but it's another thing to miss something you've lost. and i lost so damn much. i don't even want to type anymore. you're all just gonna thing i'm a sap.
dashboard time..........