On The East Coast We Ride Until The Day We Die
"I wanna be happy, I don't wanna be sad
I wanna be a good boy, I don't wanna be bad.
I wanna be happy. I wanna be happy so bad."
I was thinking about everything I've given up. All the things I could be and w o u l d be right now if I hadn't given so many things up. I use to be so happy, so bouncy, just full of enthusiasm. Heck, I use to be a cheerleader, a good one I might add. I use to have these friends who were just bouncy and outgoing too. We would laugh for hours, we truly had a blast. I mean, we were on top of the world. And that was my life back when I was popular: I had a blast while getting all the guys at the same time. Things just came so easily to me. I look around at who the popular people are now in Middle School and they're all people I use to be friends with. So if I hadn't ditched them all, I'd be up on the social ladder with 'em and I'd be pimpin' right now. lol Now for those of you who haven't seen the tip of the lid, well, it's great, and people really are nice. Popularity is quite stereotypical these days. I mean, it's not as over-dramatized and shallow as it is portrayed to be. Which is why I wonder why I gave it all up. I was so happy. Now I have to struggle to be happy! But then I think about my music, and how I've never felt so connected, so in love and at peace with it. I mean, music is an amazing thing. Back in my popular days I was never this into music. But now it's like my air. And that's when I realize it was worth it. It was worth it to quit cheerleading. It was worth it to ditch friends like Brittany. It was all sooo worth it. I may feel unsure at times, but music, it can be a beautiful thing. If you get so deeply immersed into music where you feel like the lyrics were written for you and about you then it is bliss. Because you have it there to help you through the tough times and prepare you for the tougher ones to come. I will admit that happiness does not come quite easily with music though. The music is really just geared to get you motivated to be happy, or to use it to get over something so you can be happy. Music really is a tool in life. So in the long-run you'll find that yes, with music(the right type of music), you will get through life a little better. But you can't rely on it all the time. Music is suppose to teach you that you need to be you, and use you to make you better. So, things are confusing at first, as they still are a bit for me, but things clear up. There's some things you just have to learn on your own...Bleh, I analyze this shit too much.
Brooke xxx