why do the bugs have it in for me?
here's a story -
i don't have a job. i mean, i do - but that's beside the point. the point is i have no money, alright? and when you're broke, you can't really afford the luxuries in life. (i.e. gas) so, i decided (was forced) to ride my bike to school. when i got there, 5 hours later, i happened to spot the guy i sit next to in linguistics class. he came over and we chatted while i locked up my bike:
him: hey shorty, you finish the phonetic worksheet? i really got stuck on - OH MY GOD THERE'S A BEE ON YOUR HAND.
me: what? OW FUCK HOLY FUCK OUCH
(if that wasn't clear enough) - I WAS STUNG BY A BEE. ON MY HAND. when does that ever happen?! NEVER. and let me just say, it really REALLY hurt. the stinger was stuck in my hand so i went to the health center and they took it out. (also, he did call me "shorty." he's japanese but he definitely thinks he's black.)
so i was lying in bed last night, staring at the ceiling, and i saw a moth. now, let me tell you something - i am terrified of most bugs. those people who jump on tables/chairs/passerby because there's a bug on the ground? that is me. i don't want them anywhere near me. i think they're weird-looking, and gross. ew. HOWEVER. moths are one of the few bugs that i am not all that scared of. they're harmless, and they're kind of funny to watch. so, as this moth was flying in retarded circles 7 feet above my head, as i was thinking of this george carlin special i saw ("do you know how you can tell when a moth farts? he flies in a straight line!"), as i was benevolently allowing this moth to live instead of smashing it into the wall with my senior yearbook, it took a NOSEDIVE straight towards my face.
i immediately began thrashing about and before i knew it, i was sitting in the fetal position, IN THE HALLWAY. i do not recall running, crawling, or otherwise moving myself there, and yet, i was there.
i don't know what i did to piss off all the bugs of the world, but they are being really hostile. they're being bullies, okay? first that black widow spider, then the bee, and now a MOTH? by the way, i don't know where that moth went. it's not berzerking around the room anymore. i am too scared to go to sleep because it might still be in the room, and it might attack my face again. i'm hiding under my comforter. i want to leave the country.
i teleported to get away from a moth,
jessi.
i don't have a job. i mean, i do - but that's beside the point. the point is i have no money, alright? and when you're broke, you can't really afford the luxuries in life. (i.e. gas) so, i decided (was forced) to ride my bike to school. when i got there, 5 hours later, i happened to spot the guy i sit next to in linguistics class. he came over and we chatted while i locked up my bike:
him: hey shorty, you finish the phonetic worksheet? i really got stuck on - OH MY GOD THERE'S A BEE ON YOUR HAND.
me: what? OW FUCK HOLY FUCK OUCH
(if that wasn't clear enough) - I WAS STUNG BY A BEE. ON MY HAND. when does that ever happen?! NEVER. and let me just say, it really REALLY hurt. the stinger was stuck in my hand so i went to the health center and they took it out. (also, he did call me "shorty." he's japanese but he definitely thinks he's black.)
so i was lying in bed last night, staring at the ceiling, and i saw a moth. now, let me tell you something - i am terrified of most bugs. those people who jump on tables/chairs/passerby because there's a bug on the ground? that is me. i don't want them anywhere near me. i think they're weird-looking, and gross. ew. HOWEVER. moths are one of the few bugs that i am not all that scared of. they're harmless, and they're kind of funny to watch. so, as this moth was flying in retarded circles 7 feet above my head, as i was thinking of this george carlin special i saw ("do you know how you can tell when a moth farts? he flies in a straight line!"), as i was benevolently allowing this moth to live instead of smashing it into the wall with my senior yearbook, it took a NOSEDIVE straight towards my face.
i immediately began thrashing about and before i knew it, i was sitting in the fetal position, IN THE HALLWAY. i do not recall running, crawling, or otherwise moving myself there, and yet, i was there.
i don't know what i did to piss off all the bugs of the world, but they are being really hostile. they're being bullies, okay? first that black widow spider, then the bee, and now a MOTH? by the way, i don't know where that moth went. it's not berzerking around the room anymore. i am too scared to go to sleep because it might still be in the room, and it might attack my face again. i'm hiding under my comforter. i want to leave the country.
i teleported to get away from a moth,
jessi.