meh
So, I'm single. I don't really necessarily want to be.
After recent occurrences i thought maybe I would be better off being single for a while. But, truthfully, I don't like it. I know that experience has told me that I never find anyone unless I am not looking, but that really doesn't change things. I have felt somewhat detached lately, finding solace in friends now and again, but mostly finding myself unhappy when i return home or those friends leave.
First off, I really need to correct my sleeping patterns because they are doing nothing to help my mood. I think I may have genuine depression, but I refuse to take medication even if I am told I need it. It is my opinion that in the long run pills and things only make things worse. After that i really do need to focus on getting a job. It will get me out of the house more than ever so often to hang out with friends. It will occupy me and, hell, I might even meet new people.
It would be good for me to meet someone new that I can just act casually with, I don't need another person that I will get wrapped up in passion for that isn't returned. Too often I am that guy. At the same time, though, I do want someone that I could care about. I feel like the way I am makes it too easy for people to use me, usually without them even realizing it, and that needs to change too. Is it really too much to ask that I am able to take things slow with someone that will return what i give?
Perhaps it would be better if i were single for a while. It isn't what i want necessarily, but sometimes such things aren't always what are needed. I do feel like I have learned something though. I am less naive now. The danger is that I might go the other way and be skeptical. I don't want to be that either. Maybe I should just focus on other things and start to shy away from those that don't talk to me unless i prompt them first. These are things i must think on. These are things i may have to act on.
Though ultimately I am ok. This too shall pass, this shadow. This is just another dip before i rise above again. I do wish I would hurry up and be cheerful again though. Oh well, back to reading War of the Twins... mmm dragonlance...
After recent occurrences i thought maybe I would be better off being single for a while. But, truthfully, I don't like it. I know that experience has told me that I never find anyone unless I am not looking, but that really doesn't change things. I have felt somewhat detached lately, finding solace in friends now and again, but mostly finding myself unhappy when i return home or those friends leave.
First off, I really need to correct my sleeping patterns because they are doing nothing to help my mood. I think I may have genuine depression, but I refuse to take medication even if I am told I need it. It is my opinion that in the long run pills and things only make things worse. After that i really do need to focus on getting a job. It will get me out of the house more than ever so often to hang out with friends. It will occupy me and, hell, I might even meet new people.
It would be good for me to meet someone new that I can just act casually with, I don't need another person that I will get wrapped up in passion for that isn't returned. Too often I am that guy. At the same time, though, I do want someone that I could care about. I feel like the way I am makes it too easy for people to use me, usually without them even realizing it, and that needs to change too. Is it really too much to ask that I am able to take things slow with someone that will return what i give?
Perhaps it would be better if i were single for a while. It isn't what i want necessarily, but sometimes such things aren't always what are needed. I do feel like I have learned something though. I am less naive now. The danger is that I might go the other way and be skeptical. I don't want to be that either. Maybe I should just focus on other things and start to shy away from those that don't talk to me unless i prompt them first. These are things i must think on. These are things i may have to act on.
Though ultimately I am ok. This too shall pass, this shadow. This is just another dip before i rise above again. I do wish I would hurry up and be cheerful again though. Oh well, back to reading War of the Twins... mmm dragonlance...