Dear Bill
What an unexpected surprise you have been.. the witty banter.. I haven’t laughed like this in some time.. the comfortability.. you seem to meet an unexpected need in me.. and then, need isn’t even the right word.. it’s like, you seem to offer up answers to questions I wasn’t aware I had.
I like making you laugh.. I like taking you in.. watching you light up.. the coy way you tilt your head to the side and smile.. sometimes it’s all I can do to listen to what you’re saying.. there are these moments when you are undeniably you and I can’t help but want to take your face in my hands and pull you closer.. I never tire of kissing you.
I like that we can be somewhat vulnerable with each other.. the night we talked for hours amidst strangers.. and you were saying things that made me feel like you could see a part of me.. you made me feel understood.. what a simple, yet impactful notion that is so often neglected.
There are these moments of you that sprinkle down on me.. like confetti.. when you reach out your hand for mine.. watching you button your shirt.. you asking to hear me sing.. breathing you in.. hearing you laugh.. seeing your smile.. moments of happiness.
“so my arms are open wide.. and your head is on my stomach.. and we’re, we’re trying so hard not to fall asleep.. here we are on this 18th floor balcony.. flying away.”
It hasn’t been very long since we’ve been seeing other.. there is still much we don’t know about each other.. you told me you denied your co-worker because you’re seeing this girl.. you kinda like her a little bit.. “her” just happens to be me.. I should have said something.. but I allowed the silence to keep me feeling safe.
I’ve been contently alone.. and now I’ve included you in some small part of my world.. and time has been short.. and part of the scared and broken girl wants to let go.. and I struggle with giving her permission.. it feels too soon for my guarded heart.
It’s easy with you, Bill.. it’s never been easy with someone else.. with you it feels different.. and yet partly familiar.. like the good friend you have where you spend time apart.. but no time has passed once you’re together.. you pick it right back up.
Time has unwritten rules and obligations prescribed to it.. they make me feel heavy and tired.. like a conversation that never feels finished.. so I am content in being present in the moment with you.. and it is enough.. and I feel thankful.
I hope to see you soon,
Jenn
I like making you laugh.. I like taking you in.. watching you light up.. the coy way you tilt your head to the side and smile.. sometimes it’s all I can do to listen to what you’re saying.. there are these moments when you are undeniably you and I can’t help but want to take your face in my hands and pull you closer.. I never tire of kissing you.
I like that we can be somewhat vulnerable with each other.. the night we talked for hours amidst strangers.. and you were saying things that made me feel like you could see a part of me.. you made me feel understood.. what a simple, yet impactful notion that is so often neglected.
There are these moments of you that sprinkle down on me.. like confetti.. when you reach out your hand for mine.. watching you button your shirt.. you asking to hear me sing.. breathing you in.. hearing you laugh.. seeing your smile.. moments of happiness.
“so my arms are open wide.. and your head is on my stomach.. and we’re, we’re trying so hard not to fall asleep.. here we are on this 18th floor balcony.. flying away.”
It hasn’t been very long since we’ve been seeing other.. there is still much we don’t know about each other.. you told me you denied your co-worker because you’re seeing this girl.. you kinda like her a little bit.. “her” just happens to be me.. I should have said something.. but I allowed the silence to keep me feeling safe.
I’ve been contently alone.. and now I’ve included you in some small part of my world.. and time has been short.. and part of the scared and broken girl wants to let go.. and I struggle with giving her permission.. it feels too soon for my guarded heart.
It’s easy with you, Bill.. it’s never been easy with someone else.. with you it feels different.. and yet partly familiar.. like the good friend you have where you spend time apart.. but no time has passed once you’re together.. you pick it right back up.
Time has unwritten rules and obligations prescribed to it.. they make me feel heavy and tired.. like a conversation that never feels finished.. so I am content in being present in the moment with you.. and it is enough.. and I feel thankful.
I hope to see you soon,
Jenn