..understand I'm scared I need to go away..
Goodnight Love
with your caring and gentle touch
Goodnight Family
without arm's reach but always in the mind's eye
Goodnight Friends
so few.. so far between.. so good
Goodbye Anger
misguided.. undeserving.. overwhelming
Goodbye Hurt
no more tears.. no more loneliness.. no more depression
Goodbye Frustration
wasted days worrying over emptiness
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No one knew who Jimmy Edwards was.. no one knew the pain.. and the anguish.. and the despair.. no one knew.. until he thrust the barrel of a gun in their face
Life is too short.. way too short.. for petty bickerings.. for exaserbated misunderstandings.. for bitchery and hypocrisy.. for ignorance.. annoyance.. guilt.. misguided anger.. and any other ill minded threat and emotion that does anyone harm
Do you know what it's like to be a prisoner in your own home? Do you know what it's like to go from day to day knowing you have to stare at the floor when you walk by another.. to know you're going to be ignored.. by a tyranny of the majority? Do you know what it's like to be cast aside.. by people you've known for a significant part of your lifetime? Do you know how it is to feel so completely hopeless and utterly alone?
I do..
I escape to work.. I escape to the library and bury myself in endless papers and essays and typed articles.. but it's only a momentary release
I escape to my friends from home.. to my family.. to my boyfriend.. and still it's only a moment of time before I have to come back home.. only to a home I've never known before.. a home of isolation and despair
I am very tired.. and a mountain of problems weigh on my mind.. money.. work.. grades.. classes.. family.. graduation.. jobs.. I have to be up in 5 hours to work another 8 hours only to come home and work on homework for another 10 hours.. mindless busy work to get me through the day.. to get me to the weekend.. my santuary.. day.. after day.. after day.. and instead of getting better.. or becoming neutral.. I'm sinking in a sick sadness
No one stopped Jimmy.. stopped for a moment and pushed their own trivial concerns out of the way.. and extended a hand.. extended a thought.. helped him to believe it wasn't just him and his pain against the world.. it's almost paralyzing to believe that the entire world and everyone in it are against you.. so much so.. that it was all they could do.. to just silently sob.. as Jimmy slowly turned the gun toward himself.. and took himself and his pain out of the equation.. no one would have to bother ignoring him anymore.. or make him feel worthless.. he was finally free
Just a thought before everyone goes out and mindlessly passes through their day- someone is silently screaming for someone else.. and whether you're the one doing the ignoring or the hurt.. put all the petty bullshit aside and reach out to them.. life's too short and too sweet to pass up.. with mindless trivial garbage.. I mean who knows.. how do you know you'll have enough time to make things right.. before you never see them again?
Don't mind me.. I'm just having a bad night
with your caring and gentle touch
Goodnight Family
without arm's reach but always in the mind's eye
Goodnight Friends
so few.. so far between.. so good
Goodbye Anger
misguided.. undeserving.. overwhelming
Goodbye Hurt
no more tears.. no more loneliness.. no more depression
Goodbye Frustration
wasted days worrying over emptiness
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No one knew who Jimmy Edwards was.. no one knew the pain.. and the anguish.. and the despair.. no one knew.. until he thrust the barrel of a gun in their face
Life is too short.. way too short.. for petty bickerings.. for exaserbated misunderstandings.. for bitchery and hypocrisy.. for ignorance.. annoyance.. guilt.. misguided anger.. and any other ill minded threat and emotion that does anyone harm
Do you know what it's like to be a prisoner in your own home? Do you know what it's like to go from day to day knowing you have to stare at the floor when you walk by another.. to know you're going to be ignored.. by a tyranny of the majority? Do you know what it's like to be cast aside.. by people you've known for a significant part of your lifetime? Do you know how it is to feel so completely hopeless and utterly alone?
I do..
I escape to work.. I escape to the library and bury myself in endless papers and essays and typed articles.. but it's only a momentary release
I escape to my friends from home.. to my family.. to my boyfriend.. and still it's only a moment of time before I have to come back home.. only to a home I've never known before.. a home of isolation and despair
I am very tired.. and a mountain of problems weigh on my mind.. money.. work.. grades.. classes.. family.. graduation.. jobs.. I have to be up in 5 hours to work another 8 hours only to come home and work on homework for another 10 hours.. mindless busy work to get me through the day.. to get me to the weekend.. my santuary.. day.. after day.. after day.. and instead of getting better.. or becoming neutral.. I'm sinking in a sick sadness
No one stopped Jimmy.. stopped for a moment and pushed their own trivial concerns out of the way.. and extended a hand.. extended a thought.. helped him to believe it wasn't just him and his pain against the world.. it's almost paralyzing to believe that the entire world and everyone in it are against you.. so much so.. that it was all they could do.. to just silently sob.. as Jimmy slowly turned the gun toward himself.. and took himself and his pain out of the equation.. no one would have to bother ignoring him anymore.. or make him feel worthless.. he was finally free
Just a thought before everyone goes out and mindlessly passes through their day- someone is silently screaming for someone else.. and whether you're the one doing the ignoring or the hurt.. put all the petty bullshit aside and reach out to them.. life's too short and too sweet to pass up.. with mindless trivial garbage.. I mean who knows.. how do you know you'll have enough time to make things right.. before you never see them again?
Don't mind me.. I'm just having a bad night