(no subject)
so today was just a lovely lovely day......first me and josh had a nice big fight last night (we're all ok now i think) and then this morning he calls me and it turns out i can;t go fishing with him cuz then i wouldnt have enough time to get my schoolwork done for tomorrow and go to work, so even though he had said we'd hang out and have a good time for once cuz neither of us had school, we didn't and i didnt see him till i had break at work.....well then shaina said i could go on break so i call josh and he says he's on his way, then i get my food and everything and sit down by ollie, and get my phone out...on my phone their were two voice mails. 1st one from barry asking me to call him, then one from my dad.....my dad's voice mail said that he just wanted to let me know he's taking sandy to be put to sleep tomorrow right after he got off work. like right when that message was almost over (i told ollie in the middle of it when i heard my dads voice that that was probably what he was calling to say), josh walked in and i started crying....sandy is my dog i've had since i was born pretty much. we grew up together....my parents got her so she could watch over me cuz they were scared someone was going to try to steal me (cuz they are crazy like that)....i have bunches of pictures of her when me and her were little just sitting around or playing and hugging and i had a pair of sunglasses for her that matched a pair i had and she used to let me put hers on if i had mine on and just i have so many memories of her. in florida when we lived there and a few times here when i ahd bad days i would go outside and just hug her and cry till i fell asleep and she'd just stay still and let me stay there and hold her and everything. i love her so much, but she's 18 and shes had arthritis for a while now and my dad said he'd been working outside a lot lately cuz he's building my sisters and my brother a playground and he said he can hear her moaning and that she cant really walk anymore and just seems like she's in so much pain...i mean i gues i do know that putting her to sleep is the best thing to do for her, but its just so sad. i'd started to think she'll live forever. and i want her to live forever. when i moved here i lost so many friends and then my grandpa died shortly after that and i lost him and now she's going to be gone too. it just really sucks.....so i spent all my break crying on josh....i felt really stupid cuz when i got off break i had to go ask barry if he still needed to talk to me cuz i had heard the message and he and jessica saw me crying and asked what was wrong, but jessica was really sweet about it and told me after that whenever she saw me before she left that she was sorry and that she understood, and barry actually came back to the store after he left to give me a cookie to say sorry which is nice too........then at work shaina taught me a lot so that i kinda have an idea of what to do when me and ollie close on friday with barry, and then i came home...on my way home my dad called to tell me he decided to wait another day with sandy so i can really see her, so 2morrow night after work im gonna go spend the night with sandy outside and im sure cry my eyes out, but at least i wont have school the next day like i would if i had done that 2night, and me and my dad had a long talk and my dad was like this is really hard for me too i love that dog thats why ive taken care of her for all these years because i always remember her watching over u and sleeping in your room when u were little for us, and he said he's always felt like we need to keep her and take care of her cuz she took care of me for so long, but he said this is something he's gotta do and that he's doing it cuz he loves her, not to hurt her or me or anything.....golly i feel really stupid being this worked up about a dog, but i love her so much........oh well i guess i'll live. sometimes though i kinda wish i wasn't still living...its so hard to watch other things and people and everything leave this earth, and to know that u wont ever see them or have them while u are alive. i miss my grandpa so much and i know im going to miss sandy so much. i guess i better go to bed now.......good night