Bleck
So life is going albeit not as well as I would have hoped but a lot better than could be expected for me a year ago. So overall I'm happy but at the same time sad and lonely. I miss my friends. I have no one here. All I have is work. Very few people ever come to visit me and I can't make it down to MD to visit anyone due to the simple fact I only have weekends off and that would mean driving down to turn around and come home again. Which is I'm sure why no one has come to visit me, which I understand but it still makes me sad. I miss people. I miss talking to my friends. Damn work making me so busy.
I'm having a good summer otherwise. I'm enjoying being me, which is a major improvement from last summer and even from the end of the school year. I'm learning a lot about myself and about where I want my life to go this summer. I'm a lot better off than I have been and I'm happy for that. I just need friends closer to home. I need hugs. I need hugs badly. I'm not allowed to hug the kids at work (camp protecting their asses) even if they hug me first. And that kills me. Especially when a child is crying and it is obvious that they just need some human contact and I can't do anything, it isn't fair. But these kids keep solidifying the fact that I want to be a teacher which is good and satisfying. They also keep reasserting the simple fact that I can do it, no matter what the problem is I can overcome it with time, practice and patience. That is nice to know. I think I've found my path. It is going to be difficult for me to stay on the path, I've got a lot obstructing my way but I know it is possible to work through it. I know with help from my family and friends I can do anything. I'm loving life.
I'm having a good summer otherwise. I'm enjoying being me, which is a major improvement from last summer and even from the end of the school year. I'm learning a lot about myself and about where I want my life to go this summer. I'm a lot better off than I have been and I'm happy for that. I just need friends closer to home. I need hugs. I need hugs badly. I'm not allowed to hug the kids at work (camp protecting their asses) even if they hug me first. And that kills me. Especially when a child is crying and it is obvious that they just need some human contact and I can't do anything, it isn't fair. But these kids keep solidifying the fact that I want to be a teacher which is good and satisfying. They also keep reasserting the simple fact that I can do it, no matter what the problem is I can overcome it with time, practice and patience. That is nice to know. I think I've found my path. It is going to be difficult for me to stay on the path, I've got a lot obstructing my way but I know it is possible to work through it. I know with help from my family and friends I can do anything. I'm loving life.