Retiring Old Things, Moving on to New Things
So, I have retired Banged by Byron. You know, as a part of my sidebar on my journal. There will still be Banged by Byron posts, however. In fact? Let's have one now!
Banged by Byron: Nut Hut and Summer Vacation Edition
1. More crazy people than you can shake a stick at!
2. Lucy Montgomery
3. The gas tank of my new car that requires gas.
4. My shrink.
5. Hemi's Girlfriend
Okay, so I really didn't shag my shrink. I just jerked off in her office. Close enough.
That done, we also introduced a new part of my journal where I pick a topic and bitch about it at length. I'm considering calling it Byron's Hot Beef. Get it. We'll all be talking about my MEAT. I'm warming up to it.
Byron's Hot Beef: Nut Hut and Summer Vacation Edition
Booze. It's a glorious, beautiful thing. There is nothing more satisfying than pouring a rich, amber stream of bourbon into your mouth. Nothing. Not even sex. Not even good sex. Not even the kind of sex that makes you pass out after. Conversely, there is nothing shittier than being denied the supreme pleasure of bourbon. I'm not a fucking alcoholic! Why is it that I can have cigarettes when I admit freely to being a nicotine fiend, but I can't drink? Is one drink going to send me over the edge and put a needle in my hand or something? I'm not even in rehab anymore you fucking cocksucking monkeys. GIVE ME BACK MY BOURBON.
Top Five Reasons Byron Should Be Allowed to Drink:
1. He'll chew your eyeballs our of your head if you don't.
2. He isn't Native American.
3. He isn't an alcoholic yet and should have to do alcoholic rehab all on its own.
4. He is going to start whapping stupid people with his cane if he can't drink and calm down.
5. He banged his gas tank while sober, how could alcohol really make it any worse?
Maybe if I pretend I'm a native then I'll some rich white man who wants my land will give me whiskey for it. I'll wear a costume if it helps. SO yeah. I'm back bitches. This is Freshman Year 2.0. Everyone tune in to see how I fuck this one up!
Banged by Byron: Nut Hut and Summer Vacation Edition
1. More crazy people than you can shake a stick at!
2. Lucy Montgomery
3. The gas tank of my new car that requires gas.
4. My shrink.
5. Hemi's Girlfriend
Okay, so I really didn't shag my shrink. I just jerked off in her office. Close enough.
That done, we also introduced a new part of my journal where I pick a topic and bitch about it at length. I'm considering calling it Byron's Hot Beef. Get it. We'll all be talking about my MEAT. I'm warming up to it.
Byron's Hot Beef: Nut Hut and Summer Vacation Edition
Booze. It's a glorious, beautiful thing. There is nothing more satisfying than pouring a rich, amber stream of bourbon into your mouth. Nothing. Not even sex. Not even good sex. Not even the kind of sex that makes you pass out after. Conversely, there is nothing shittier than being denied the supreme pleasure of bourbon. I'm not a fucking alcoholic! Why is it that I can have cigarettes when I admit freely to being a nicotine fiend, but I can't drink? Is one drink going to send me over the edge and put a needle in my hand or something? I'm not even in rehab anymore you fucking cocksucking monkeys. GIVE ME BACK MY BOURBON.
Top Five Reasons Byron Should Be Allowed to Drink:
1. He'll chew your eyeballs our of your head if you don't.
2. He isn't Native American.
3. He isn't an alcoholic yet and should have to do alcoholic rehab all on its own.
4. He is going to start whapping stupid people with his cane if he can't drink and calm down.
5. He banged his gas tank while sober, how could alcohol really make it any worse?
Maybe if I pretend I'm a native then I'll some rich white man who wants my land will give me whiskey for it. I'll wear a costume if it helps. SO yeah. I'm back bitches. This is Freshman Year 2.0. Everyone tune in to see how I fuck this one up!