there's a room in my house, there's a light in the night

[sobrellevar]

first MCR-ish fic i've ever done! i’m quite uncertain about it. i’m still learning a lot about how to write for this. i don’t think I’ll be writing anything MCR again soon, it is difficult! i have a lot to learn about characterization and once again I need to learn to write a proper straight-up linear story. omgplzrlyrlysrsly still can’t do it to

Comments

[renne]

(In my opinion) there really is nothing in this to be critical about! It was written in a deliberate way so everything that may not be part of "classical" writing fits in perfectly. It also makes the second person pronouns, which normally bug the fuck out of me, the only way this could work. Because it couldn't any other way. Not like this.

It's this line:
This is you looking at the list and trying to decide if they are the reasons you love him, or the reasons why you can never be together.
...that sense of one or the other in stories like this that sum up all of the emotion and make me break apart, just a little.

[slipsandtangles]

i just spilled tea all over my desk flailing my hands around. i have to go do something else to get my mind back to normal. you are amazing, srsly.

[sobrellevar]

i'm trying to picture you and some flaily hand motions but i just realized -- aaaah! keep the tea awayyyy from your keyboard! how else would i hear from the one and only dana ursula i know?

ilu :D ♥

[callsigns]

I promise to come back and leave detailed feedback (I don't promise to keep my promise), but I wanted to tell you know that I thought that was beautiful. I am a big fan of your writing. That sort of structure can so easily laspe into pretention, and you avoided it completely. At #4, my breath caught in my lungs. I love the delicate way you describe simple things and make them feel as important as they can feel.

[sobrellevar]

you don't have to promise anything, miz jessa, you have my love regardless ♥ i will always be grateful for your gracious & thoughtful comments.

(it's so funny because #4 confused me the most. at different times i was writing the 'you' as Frank, then sometimes Mikey, and at one point Patrick i think, and at #4 i was like, uhhhh. mix mix mix.)

this is a little breath of relief from me; this was a big experiment and i'm still trying to find my own little space in MCR-fandom. feeling my way around. it's very big and i get overwhelmed really easily. i don't know why i'm not particularly threatened by the weemo but i am so full of trepidation when it comes to posting my writing to anything like MCR fic-comms. i think i will always be thankful i have DYW to cling to as a lovely happy boat in the weird weird weemo ocean.

[myspeedingpulse]

I really don't think that anything about this needs to be changed. The fact that it isn't straight up and linear doesn't take anything away from it at all because it's not overly confusing or pretentious, but it is absolutely beautiful. You definitely have a way with words.
I usually avoid anything written in the second person but [like restriction already said] it works perfectly here.

His love is the kind of love that drives people to lock up beautiful things, the kind of love that drives mothers to kill for their children: fierce, protective, unconditional.

I love that part, it made me ache a little.

[one900]

i just woke up, and this: Together you hurt like history: something that happened long ago, still resonating strong into the present. made my day. possibly my week. i'm a sucker for numbered sections and short glimpses that say as much as any long scene does, and you do this beautifully. :)

[sobrellevar]

duuuude i think we just both have a thing for old houses that feel like they carry stories and pasts, yanno?

you are a lovely combination of sweetness, kindness, and LULZ. why don't more people say this about you? you really are.