(no subject)
i miss my friends...
i miss eleanore... i feel really alone at the moment...
I've tried with my cousin.. i really have.. she said she was going to call me when my dog died in november... and i am STILL waiting for the call... i got a text on my birthday, in which i decided to give up my anger from her NOT calling me and ask her to let me know when she has time to catch up, and a week later i'm still waiting for a reply.
why is it so hard for me to make friends?
is it me?.. I feel like i don't have anyone to go out with to have a few drinks, a dance and a good time. The Tall guy never seems to have money to go out anywhere... and it's depressing i guess...
i LIKE going out once in a while to have some cocktails and dance the night away to silly music...i feel like i haven't done that in a while... i'm always worried about having to go home early cause a cab home is so expensive...
I don't think my personality is going to change... so what to i do??
there are people i know, but i don't feel they're my good friends... Adriaan has been texting me, which is cool, but i'm a bit concerned... he always says strange things...
The text i got this morning started out innocent enough but finished with 'thinking of you'... hmmm am i over-reacting? i don't want him to get the wrong idea... He knows i'm with someone... maybe that's just what he's like? I'm not sure.
When i saw him in new year, all he did was flatter me.. about how great i was, how he was 'counting down the days' until i got back from japan..
who does that??
I'd love to have him as a friend... even to travel with, but there's no attraction there... heh.. he's not tall enough! (am i a bad person??), yeah.... no attraction... i dunno... my mother told my grandmother about him (cause she met him on new years), and how 'attractive' he is... but i don't see him in that way.... i'm trying to be very careful...
i dunno.
things have been crazy this week... one day it's moving out of home, the next it's buying a new car, the next is joining a documentary crew in south america for a year (all expenses paid), the next is getting a new dog... and today it's just wanting to run away from it all to england...
I hate not having a plan. i HATE this whole 'wait and see' thing... i'm waiting to be paid from work... i feel like i've done nothing!!...
I'm not very good at being patient... what the hell can i do to occupy my time so i don't frea out/ go nuts????
someone give me a hand here....
i miss eleanore... i feel really alone at the moment...
I've tried with my cousin.. i really have.. she said she was going to call me when my dog died in november... and i am STILL waiting for the call... i got a text on my birthday, in which i decided to give up my anger from her NOT calling me and ask her to let me know when she has time to catch up, and a week later i'm still waiting for a reply.
why is it so hard for me to make friends?
is it me?.. I feel like i don't have anyone to go out with to have a few drinks, a dance and a good time. The Tall guy never seems to have money to go out anywhere... and it's depressing i guess...
i LIKE going out once in a while to have some cocktails and dance the night away to silly music...i feel like i haven't done that in a while... i'm always worried about having to go home early cause a cab home is so expensive...
I don't think my personality is going to change... so what to i do??
there are people i know, but i don't feel they're my good friends... Adriaan has been texting me, which is cool, but i'm a bit concerned... he always says strange things...
The text i got this morning started out innocent enough but finished with 'thinking of you'... hmmm am i over-reacting? i don't want him to get the wrong idea... He knows i'm with someone... maybe that's just what he's like? I'm not sure.
When i saw him in new year, all he did was flatter me.. about how great i was, how he was 'counting down the days' until i got back from japan..
who does that??
I'd love to have him as a friend... even to travel with, but there's no attraction there... heh.. he's not tall enough! (am i a bad person??), yeah.... no attraction... i dunno... my mother told my grandmother about him (cause she met him on new years), and how 'attractive' he is... but i don't see him in that way.... i'm trying to be very careful...
i dunno.
things have been crazy this week... one day it's moving out of home, the next it's buying a new car, the next is joining a documentary crew in south america for a year (all expenses paid), the next is getting a new dog... and today it's just wanting to run away from it all to england...
I hate not having a plan. i HATE this whole 'wait and see' thing... i'm waiting to be paid from work... i feel like i've done nothing!!...
I'm not very good at being patient... what the hell can i do to occupy my time so i don't frea out/ go nuts????
someone give me a hand here....