Post, last day of school, pre-Christmas update
On the current Emobius scale: 6.5-7.5/10
If I had any actual intelligence I wouldn't update my livejournal after playing FFXI for about 10 hours straight. It toally skews my mindset. I was joking (half seriously) to my friend Kaithalina the other day that I just didn't have it in me to play the Game for hours and hours like I did two or three years ago. Kat and I have both had this conversation on the phone before as well, that the will to play and go from one thing to the next just isn't there anymore.
I sometimes think a lot of it has to do with wanting to achieve something. When you set your mind to something you want to achieve, it's easy to find excuses to log in and level grind or whatnot. I learned that, when I was playing this summer and levelling BLU. When you have a *goal* its easy to mindlessly log in and do your think.. "Just need to fnish BLU to 62...." "Just need to get BLU to 71" etc etc.
A lot of the difference I find now too is the guilt level associated with playing. I used to never blink at logging in after school at 3:30 and play till midnight. Nor getting up on a Saturday at 8:00 and playing till I fell asleep. Now, it seems I feel like I am a couch potato sitting and playing for so long. It's funny how I can alleviate my guilt a bit by going and working out for 1-2 hours or doing housework. It convinces me that I "have earned" my playtime.
The other difficulty I am facing at the moment, is the simple fact that I am in an endgame shell again. And endgame shells are quite busy. Even with a couple of days off a week, I still log in everyday just to keep up with whats going on. On one hand I cringe because the game is starting to take a bit too much of my life (the base reason I eventually left Knights and wanted to quit outright). On the other, I made a comitment when I joined BG, and I feel I need to stick to that comitment. Certainly until after the holidays, then I think I will lay down the groundwork for a new life plan and try to shuffle my FFXI playtime accordingly so I am not overwhelmed but can play in the evenings and not miss events.
Ok, so more on the personal life later. Lets start with what's up with FFXI recently:
First, as indicated I have still been enjoying some new events with BG I have never done before. I'm pretty confident in my ability to tank just about anyting (and when it comes to tanking in the game, if you aren't sure what to do, you can usually figure it out in a hurry) but understandibly the LS doesn't quite have the faith in me that I do. Sometimes it annoys me a bit, because I feel patronized, but I also try to remember that this is part of being the new guy. Again, it's hard to adjust to new people and a new shell. I'm realizing now how much more a family Knights really was. I knew most of the members well enough to joke around with them and talk about non-game related issues. But also, I felt when I left the LS I wan't really part of that family anymore - almost like I had become "the government" where people were afraid to talk to me.
That in itself brings me to another point I am realizing about the game, based on a quote of a good friend of mine. But I'll get to that later. So what else did I do since last update?
Pimy got to level 68! Two more levels to go and she will be capped. Because of the difficulties in pulling out NPC's in the newer areas, Pimy certainly does not see action like she used to. Although many people could care less about their adventuring fellows, I have had Pimy for well over 3 years now and she has saved my ass doing something crazy more times than I can count. I'm looking forward to eventually getting her capped at level 70. I have thought before of changing her primary weapon from a polearm to a Great Katana (which offers more in the way for SC possibilities), but I always joked she was Gropos' replacement when he left the game so I think I'll leave her as a quasi-DRG for now.
One of the main reasons for using Pimy lately was because I was working on the new WS!
I'm not sure about this WS yet. It "seems" do do better on RDM than Savage Blade did (which isn't saying much), so in that sense I suppose it's decent. I haven't had a chance to play with gear yet to tweak it. My personal suspicion is that a well equiped RDM who wanted to rip damage will still blow any amount of sword damage out of the water with a dagger build since Evisceration is a fairly potent WS. Oops I better not say that too loud less the RDM's over on Alla start QQ'ing my livejournal.
ENM's continue to be a whore. I am a firm believer that the higher the price that Hagun gets, the lower the overall drop percentage.
Dor and I use his limited playtime to do 2-3 ENM's once a week. The overall effect so far has been to cap a few buffers and slowly earn more merits. But we sure aren't getting rich from this.
(One can never have too many powelevellers!)
I spent the last two weeks levelling SAM as a sub as well which I finally got to 37 today. Although I hate admitting it, you certainly do learn more about other peoples' jobs simply by levelling them to 37. At least I know more or less now, how Seigan and Hasso work, and the fundamentals behind Meditate. I am tinkering with the idea of levelling DRG to 75 since I think I could make a fairly impressive DD with my current gear set up. I might place that on hold until I can balance my playtime into a comfortable level. Oh I also delevelled my NIN to 37 today... I seriously hate having OCD. The current setup looks like this:
Scholar should probably get levelled to 37 for WHM sub (ugh) and maybe RNG so the colums look pretty. I have no main DD job that would benefit from DNC sub in my opinion at the moment either, so no rush there. Perhaps I should get DRG to 37 just so the colums line up and then decide to go to 75 from there? I really don't know..
It's funny how times change. I remember getting Black Mage to 75 probably a full year (if not more) after getting Red Mage to 75. I remember flipping open my job menu and feeling so proud I had two jobs at 75. Then again, I also remember a time when I sword I would never level White Mage as a sub job for Red Mage. And I am sure I balked at the idea of levelling Paladin at one point as well. More on this a bit later.
I must say I have really enjoyed doing the missions for Wings of the Goddess. The plot, which at first made me balk has become very interesting, but what has really impressed me is the improved quality of the cutscenes, character dimensions and emotions that they can convey now during the cutscenes.
Of course, my character still looks dumb as a stick in the CS'... But regardless, I have eagerly been doing the missions in WoG wanting to see how things turn out. Clef and I duo'd a BC this week, so I am actually free to move on in the missions. I have sort of been dragging my feet a bit just so I don't sit down one night and do them all at once - something I have been resisting!
On the RL front (always tied to FFXI unfortunately)
Last day of school was Friday, and we almost didn't make it due to a blizzard. This winter has seen a lot of snow, and it has been bitterly cold. Most people would be surprised to hear that we Canadians do not live in snow 11.5 months of the year and as soon as the temperature starts dropping in October and November we cringe and moan like the best of them. Some facts about Canada I would like to share, because a lot of my friends from the US or abroad are often surprised when I tell them this.
1.) There are more than 10 people living in Canada. In fact there are almost 35 million of us.
2.) Toronto is the fourth largest city in North America and has the highest number of sky scrapers outside of New York City.
3.) While much of Canada geographically *is* indeed cold and frozen plains and forests, 80% of the Canadian population lives within 200 km of the U.S. border. In fact, almost 15 million live in south western Ontario (where I live), which on the map is that little arrow that "stabs" into the U.S. (symbolism perhaps? :P)
4.) We are one of the 7 most wealthy nations in the world and one of the most technologically advanced. Canada is a leader in energy production and communication technology (no surprise there when your country is gigantic and cold!)
Anyway, maybe it's the Civics and Government teacher in me why I went on that rant. I guess the point is, although I despise the cold and sometimes think of moving somewhere warmer, I truly love my country. Canada is not perfect, but I think for the most part I see eye to eye with a lot of the general policies and values Canadians believe in.
As for the holidays, Christmas is almost here and I have done zero shopping so far. That's the bad news. The good news is that I have been banking money to *pay* for the Xmas shopping, and since I got paid on Friday, I should have enough to cover everyone's gifts. What is going to kill me, is that as an untenured teacher, I dont get paid over Christmas. That will make January very tight, but I will worry about January in January, so I have decided. The next couple of days I will put aside my personal woes and focus on the rare bliss that is Christmas.
I think about Katrina less frequently now. As they say, the only way to mend a broken heart is with time. When I think about her, it is less panicky, less emotional, and less of a sense of longing. I still care about her very much, but the feeling is quite there like it used to be. I still do miss her very much, and the good times we had that we never will again. In some ways, I feel a new sadness because off the loss of not feeling like I used to about her. Isn't that a strange thing? And in some ways, I am sad that I see her moving on from the game. She hardly plays now - and in fact I don't think she has logged in for well over a week and a half. I feel envious because she is getting on with her life, and eventually, FFXI will be a memory for her. A time in her life she will remember like college, or high-school. Something she did for a while then moved on. Maybe some of that sense for me is the knowledge that the time we spent together will also become a memory for her (and probably for me as well eventually) and she will move on in this big world where our paths may never cross again.
Maybe it's jealousy on my part that the "real world" will get her back, and I won't get her back, nor will the "real world" get me back. /sigh as always so complicated.
I was going to write some other things, but I'm tired now. I'l post something else before Christmas!