You probably don't want to know this...
Thinking about certain door-to-door solicitations in my area lately, I'm thinking that answering the door in the buff might be the only way to get these people to stop coming back. They've already been CHASED off the property by our night-time security people AND by my neighbor, who takes no shit. Still, they return. Who are they? CHURCHIES. From a weird little splinter church that seems determined to convert my apartment complex.
At least one of them lives here. He's a young-ish guy, maybe 25, and if he can, he'll corner you in the laundry room and tell you he's enlightened and you're an emotional retard who can't think for yourself and probably shouldn't be allowed to leave your house alone.
When he gets near me, I brandish unwashed underwear and promise to stuff it in his mouth if he doesn't shut up. Usually works. Well, if I have any at hand. The older ladies who were drilled in politeness as children and can't tell him to fuck off tend to look horribly nervous when they see him coming.
I suspect he's on the verge of being booted for hassling other tenants, but it takes so fucking LONG. And none of the little old ladies will say a thing against him, probably because they're nervous of his friends coming around MORE, inspired to try harder to save us all from ourselves.
Yeah, it's Naked Hello Time. Possibly involving props meant to freak them out. I should go out and buy a giant glass dildo, so I can answer the door and brandish it at them. Heh. Do you think they'd accept an invitation to try it out?
At least one of them lives here. He's a young-ish guy, maybe 25, and if he can, he'll corner you in the laundry room and tell you he's enlightened and you're an emotional retard who can't think for yourself and probably shouldn't be allowed to leave your house alone.
When he gets near me, I brandish unwashed underwear and promise to stuff it in his mouth if he doesn't shut up. Usually works. Well, if I have any at hand. The older ladies who were drilled in politeness as children and can't tell him to fuck off tend to look horribly nervous when they see him coming.
I suspect he's on the verge of being booted for hassling other tenants, but it takes so fucking LONG. And none of the little old ladies will say a thing against him, probably because they're nervous of his friends coming around MORE, inspired to try harder to save us all from ourselves.
Yeah, it's Naked Hello Time. Possibly involving props meant to freak them out. I should go out and buy a giant glass dildo, so I can answer the door and brandish it at them. Heh. Do you think they'd accept an invitation to try it out?