Brant's proposed man law
Yes we all know that the you poke it, you own it man law has changed the way we run our life. However this commercial series by the intelligent people at miller has not been continued to its highest potential. Therefore I propose these 10 laws.
1. Every attractive female must have at least 2 pictures on facebook portraying their butt, breasts, face, and feet. HERE HERE!!!
2. No female may be allowed to participate in an actual pickup football game UNLESS:
- it is snowing outside
- the female in question has good hands, which must be certified by a participating male (if you get my drift)
- there is a mud puddle on the field. Participating female must play on the side with this puddle, and bump-and-run coverage is permitted until after said puddle
- sex change must have occurred within 3 years of said date of game
HERE HERE!!!
3. An international Organization of beer pong be created to unify games of beer pong and name them similar to poker. When somebody says we are playing 6-cup stud everyone will understand. Brant Veasy shall be the first official president of said group. HERE HERE!!!
4. 24 is the official television show of the MAN. Jack Bauer is our god. HERE HERE!!!
5. All television hosts must be replaced by playboy playmates. MTV is officially cancelled definitely. MTV2 can stay HERE HERE!!!
6. Any big game (football, basketball, baseball, world cup) must be on at any social gathering whether women present or not. Fans of golf, tennis, and nascar must be thrown into a small room with a tv no bigger than 18 inches. Burning down said room is encouraged. HERE HERE!!!
7. List of movies below must have been see by anyone, and important quotes must be recognized
-animal house
-airplane
-ace venture
-little giants
-dodgeball
-anchorman
-wedding crashers
-old school
-meet the parents
-shawshank redemption
-boondock saints
-mona lisa smiles
-varsity blues
-the godfather
-caddy shack
HERE HERE!!!
8. Popping your collar is an official recognization that you are a prick and a toolbag. Popping 2 collars or any even number of popped collars is allowed. Although 3 popped collars is better than 1, it is still a breach in the Man Laws. HERE HERE!!!
9. BUSCH OR BETTER RULE: Shitty beer is reserved solely for beer pong and beer bonging. Busch or better must be used when beer is sipped or drank casually. short list of shitty beers are but not limited to keystone, natty's, and milwaukee's best. HERE HERE!!!
10. Several women have been honorarily added to the MAN population:
-Annie Dukes
-Chloe O'Brien
-Michelle Wie
-Jenna Jameson
-Mrs. Stiffler
-stacy's mom
HERE HERE!!!
Please comment and leave proposed man laws that may or may not be added in the near future.
1. Every attractive female must have at least 2 pictures on facebook portraying their butt, breasts, face, and feet. HERE HERE!!!
2. No female may be allowed to participate in an actual pickup football game UNLESS:
- it is snowing outside
- the female in question has good hands, which must be certified by a participating male (if you get my drift)
- there is a mud puddle on the field. Participating female must play on the side with this puddle, and bump-and-run coverage is permitted until after said puddle
- sex change must have occurred within 3 years of said date of game
HERE HERE!!!
3. An international Organization of beer pong be created to unify games of beer pong and name them similar to poker. When somebody says we are playing 6-cup stud everyone will understand. Brant Veasy shall be the first official president of said group. HERE HERE!!!
4. 24 is the official television show of the MAN. Jack Bauer is our god. HERE HERE!!!
5. All television hosts must be replaced by playboy playmates. MTV is officially cancelled definitely. MTV2 can stay HERE HERE!!!
6. Any big game (football, basketball, baseball, world cup) must be on at any social gathering whether women present or not. Fans of golf, tennis, and nascar must be thrown into a small room with a tv no bigger than 18 inches. Burning down said room is encouraged. HERE HERE!!!
7. List of movies below must have been see by anyone, and important quotes must be recognized
-animal house
-airplane
-ace venture
-little giants
-dodgeball
-anchorman
-wedding crashers
-old school
-meet the parents
-shawshank redemption
-boondock saints
-mona lisa smiles
-varsity blues
-the godfather
-caddy shack
HERE HERE!!!
8. Popping your collar is an official recognization that you are a prick and a toolbag. Popping 2 collars or any even number of popped collars is allowed. Although 3 popped collars is better than 1, it is still a breach in the Man Laws. HERE HERE!!!
9. BUSCH OR BETTER RULE: Shitty beer is reserved solely for beer pong and beer bonging. Busch or better must be used when beer is sipped or drank casually. short list of shitty beers are but not limited to keystone, natty's, and milwaukee's best. HERE HERE!!!
10. Several women have been honorarily added to the MAN population:
-Annie Dukes
-Chloe O'Brien
-Michelle Wie
-Jenna Jameson
-Mrs. Stiffler
-stacy's mom
HERE HERE!!!
Please comment and leave proposed man laws that may or may not be added in the near future.